10 days post Op!!

Well i think i am pretty much back to my normal self, apart from a few twinges around the port site here and there. I find bending over it still a bit restricting, but I'll get there. I am tossing up whether I should go the the gym or not. The NOT is looking like the winner at the moment!!

Last night we took the kids into Freo to have dinner and play some games at Timezone. We went to one of the restaurants on the strip, and the first thing I asked was "what's the soup of the day". The response I got was, we don't have any soup today!! Oh OK then. So I looked over the menu and though well if I can't have soup I'll try and have something mushy and really soft and easy to chew and break down. After all, I have been mixing in mushy things with my soup and am not completely just on liquids now. So I picked the beef ravioli. I did pick the main as I knew all the kids would eat it as and of course I was right!! Xander ended up having the most, and the other two had two helpings each and I think i has left with less than half and Entree sized meal. I was being very careful making sure that I was cutting the ravioli in half and then chew, chew chewing it as much as I could into tiny little pieces and trying so hard to resist the water on the table in front of me. DH and the kids also ordered a pizza, but that took a while to come out.

So all in all, I think I did pretty well with the ravioli last night. I didn't get an major sharp pains or anything like that. I think maybe I overate a bit as I was feeling pretty full and uncomfortable. I didn't even eat all on my plate. There were 3 left over!!!

So after dinner, we went and played games in timezone for about an hour and the kids went and had gelato. I had a little bit. I was feeling very full and didn't want to burst my bubble. Xander of course had the rest and enjoyed in greatly!! We did a fair bit of walking, the most I have done since having the band put in. It felt good, apart from the shoes I was wearing!! I could of done better in that department.

I had a great nights sleep last night. I slept right through until early hours of the morning. I was imagining I'd be in chronic pain from overeating!! hahaha

8 days post Op!!

YAY!!!! I did a poo!!! hahahaha!! I did one yesterday and i did one today!! WOO HOOO!! I know that might be too much information, but I feel great now!! Yes I was a little constipated, but hopefully with taking the Metamucil it will settle down really soon.

So far everything has been a dream with the band. I haven't had any problems with anything yet. I had a little solids yesterday of some fish and I just made sure I chewed, chewed and chewed. I am still having the soups, but not clear ones anymore. I am liking the pumpkin and potato and leek soups. I can feel that I am needing the mushies now as I am getting hungry allot quicker between meals. I am really only having 3 meals a day with no snacking in between. For breakfast I am alternating between the optifast shake and porridge. For lunch I normally have a cuppa soup and for dinner it's another soup. I am having the lots a noodle soups and they are doing quite well and are filling enough. I am finding each day I am eating that little bit more, so I think by the time I am due to see Dr Watson on the 24th April, I'll be ready for my first fill.

Yesterday and today I have felt really good in myself. I managed to spend most of the day working on my business without any problems and not feeling exhausted and tired. By the end of the day though I was ready for bed. But I'm not feeling sore anymore, unless I cough hard or sneeze. I don't really 'notice' the band otherwise. I just feel like my normal self, I don't really feel any different, apart from when I am eating. I can see that my stretch marks around my stomach are not red anymore. they are white now and fading, so I guess thats a good sign that I must have started the shrinking process.

I am looking forwards to hitting the gym again. I am thinking of going next week to just do some treadmill and bike exercise. I think I'll leave the weights for a couple of more weeks, or at least until I have seen Dr Watson and got the all clear. I'm not sure whether I should invest in a set of scales, or just rely on Dr Watson's or the gyms. I want to make sure that I use the same scales for my weigh ins all the time. So that way at least I know they are reliable. I did some walking around the shops yesterday and today and it felt really good. it will be interesting to see how much weight I have lost when I see Dr Watson. I don't think I am going to weigh myself before then. Still debating that one out in my head.

I can't wait until the 'bandit' meet at Burswood on Saturday night. It's going to be great to meet other bandits and share our stories. I have so much to learn and experience still and I am really looking forwards to it!!

6 days post op and slowly getting there!!!

Today I have felt pretty good. Still a bit sore, but not as much pulling and hurting from around the port site as there was yesterday. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. I have no idea why, but I was just restless and I lay there with my eyes closed, but never went into any kind of deep sleep. I just kept opening my eyes every now and then. Probably the fact that i couldn't get comfortable might of had something to do with it as well. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep better. i am really tired at the moment, so lets hope so!!

I spent most of the morning at my mother in laws curled up on the lounge dozing in and out of consciousness!! She was taking care of Xander and then she had to go out for lunch, so she took him with her. I decided to then go home and take it easy. the house looks like a bomb hit it today. I really did not feel up to do anything. I was so drained and tired. I wish the magic vacuum fairies and mop fairies would come and clean for me!! that's all that needs to be done, oh and the washing to be folded and put away.

I am still eating / drinking clear fluids and mixing a little mushies in there. Not much, but a little. i don't seem to be having any problems with eating or drinking at all, which is great. I am loving my jellies.

I am still waiting for a bowel movement. I can feel it getting closer LOL, so hopefully tomorrow I'll have one. i have been keeping up with my Metamucil and vitamins.

Well that's about it for today. Not much to report. I'm getting boring now!! LOL

5 days post Op!!

WOO HOOO!! I got more drugs!! hahahaha I had my staples out today and everything is healing nicely. It's a little bit itchy but the Doctor said that's a good thing as it means it's healing. He was very surprised to see me doing as well as I am 5 days after the operation. I am my GP's first lapband patient. Feel honoured now I do!!

I have gone for some thicker soups today. I did really well last night with my mushy lasagna. Had no problems with that at all. mind you, it was well mushed!! I enjoyed some lovely home made pumpkin soup today. I also had some nice creamy honey porridge for breakfast. I still can't believe the small portions I am eating and it's making me full. i still have the 'eyes bigger then the belly' syndrome though. I'm not used to only having half a cup or less. I absolutely struggled to get through the porridge this morning. I only ended up eating half and it's a really small portion packet size already!! I had my first coffee today since before the Optifast stage. I wasn't craving one at all, just felt like something different from tea. I'm not a big coffee drinker anyways. I can go without it for weeks or have one or two a day for weeks and then nothing.

I bummed around for most of the day today. Still am pretty sore. I did a little bit of work in the business, but sitting at the computer is not that comfortable at the moment. I have this dreaded cough that is really driving me insane. It's from the tube the stick down your throat during the operation. they must have scraped the back of my throat, because it's all dry and scratchy and is really ticking me off!!

My bruises on my arms from the needles and drips are taking their sweet time to go away. People must think I am a drug addict!! LOL!! Wrong places I have been told. They don't look very pretty at all. And no, hubby didn't do them!! LOL

I am still waiting for my first bowel motion. The doctor said it should be too far away and I'm doing all he right things like moving around heaps, drinking lots and taking Metamucil. He said I should expect one really soon though. Anaesthetic does that to people he said, plus I'm not putting much into my system, so it doesn't have much to break down either.

I've had a few people comment about my face not looking at full as it used to. So I guess that's a good thing. I can feel my wedding and engagement rings getting looser and looser, so I know I must be losing weight!!

4 days post Op!!

I am starting to sleep better, but trying to turn over and change positions during the night still hurts like hell!! I have put it down to a fine art now though. If I want to change sides, i have so sit up first and then change to the other side. Maybe in a few more days I'll be able to do just the normal rolling over thing. My tummy is very sore and tender still. I think the sorest part is when the port site is. Although I can't be 100% sure it's there, I think that's where it is. I'm not game enough to press down hard on it just yet. Coughing is a real killer. I have this horrible tickle in my throat (probably the side affects from the anaesthetic) which is making me cough. I can't even try and stop myself from coughing. Even holding my wounds doesn't help!!

I haven't had any pain killers today, as I have run out, so it's just been normal pandaol, hence why I feel so sore today!! Maybe I'll ask the doctor this afternoon if I can get some more strong drugs!! I have to see the Doctor this afternoon as I am getting my staples out. YAY!! I can take those ugly white patches of my stomach!!

I spent most of the day on a lounge somewhere laying down. I did brave it for an hour or so to do a little bit of food shopping with mother in law. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it did take allot out of me. The walking itself felt good and didn't bother me, it was just the soreness and energy that it drained out of me.

I'm still having liquids, although I did try some blended lasagna last night as the soup just didn't seem to feel me up at dinner time. I think I had about 5 or 6 teaspoon fulls and I was full. I didn't seem to have any problems with it. I just took it nice and slowly and still chewed it, even though it was already baby mush!! I did think for a while that I may have over eaten, as I just felt full and really blah. no pain or anything coming back to haunt me, just uncomfortable feeling.

I've really noticed on how much I have slowed down on drinking. Everything is just little sips. I have heard storied where people can't drink like they used to, especially out of their water bottles at the gym. So I'm not really game enough to try more than little sips at the moment. It makes it hard when you are having your Metamucil and it tells you to drink rapidly. By the time I am finishing off the last 3 or 4 mouthfuls, it has gone really thick, so I have to add a bit more water. I still have allot to learn and allot to learn from!!

3 days post Op!!

I finally got some sleep last night. Although it still wasn't solid sleep, I managed to do more than just doze. I still couldn't get fully comfortable, but I guess I was so tired in the end I didn't really care how much it hurt, just the fact i wanted to sleep!! I'm still feeling pretty tired and warn out today. Today's the first day I've really felt my tummy hurting from all the incisions. I don't feel as full of wind today which is a great thing. I'm still getting an odd wind pain here and there, but nothing like I was getting in the first 2 days. I think I had a couple of good episodes of passing wind last night while I was sleeping!!

Last night I tried a little chicken noodle soup. not the creamy type. Just the plain chicken broth with some noodles. I only managed to have about 3 mouthfuls and I was full. I didn't seem to have any problems at all with them. I made sure I left the noodles to sit for about 10 minutes before I ate them so they were nice and soft. I didn't feel like anything much more than just broth this morning, so I just had my plain vegetable clear broth and a jelly. It's amazing how those two things are quite satisfying and fill you right up!!

I'm having no problems at all moving around. the only time I do cringe and feel it is when i am going from lying down to sitting up and trying to roll over in bed. Apart from that I don't feel anything. I think I was quite lucky as I haven't experienced hardly any pain in my shoulder. I know quite a few people have experiences the shoulder tip pain. I only got a couple of aches in the first day and they were more twinges than constant pain. The pain has been quite good, but in saying that I have made sure I have kept up with the pain killers and panadol as well. I finished off the anti nauseous tablets today, so I don't have to take them anymore. It wasn't the nicest thing to have to hold on your tongue. It was more of a wafer than a tablet that you swallowed.

Mother in law came to pick Sara up today and she commented on how much weight I have lost already. Mind you, i don't really feel as though I have lost any. My stomach is to bloated and full of wind to feel 'thin'!! LOL

2 days post Op!!

Today I feel as though I have been been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and he won!! I am feeling so sore and stiff today. I hardly got any sleep at all last night. I didn't end up actually settling down to sleep until about midnight and by then I couldn't get comfortable. I tossed and turned for the next few hours. Well I didn't really toss and turn, but more like carefully moved and changed positions. by about 2.30am I had given up and took my pillow and retreated to the lounge room to the recliner chairs. This gave me a little more comfort, but not much more. I dozed on and off until about 7am. I was flicking the foxtel channels and found a couple of good movies to doze to.

Today i have been walking and moving around as much as I can to try and get that wind moving. I have chewed on a couple of the de-gas tablets but I am still waiting for a miracle fart to arrive. I think once I have a half decent fart I will feel normal again. It's just so uncomfortable.

Food wise i have been very satisfied with my vegetable and beef broth. I don't think i could really settle for anything more right now. I had some diet jelly today which was nice on my throat. I have been a bit croaky and horse, which is probably from the tubes I had down there.

I have felt pretty tired today. My wounds are a bit sore, but not extremely painful. I have kept on top of the pain killers and panadol today. I've had the heat pack out as well which has been a nice instant relief on my tummy area. I haven't felt much nauseous today, which is good. i still have to take anti-reflux tablets and the anti nauseous tablets for the next 7 days or until I feel i don't need them anymore.

I made my appointment with my GP for Monday afternoon at 2.15pm to have my staples removed. Hopefully this won't hurt too much!! I have to ring up and make my 3 appointments with Dr Watson. I have to have one at 1 month after surgery, 2 months and then at 3 months. I should go and do that right now while I remember!!

Surviving the First Day Home!!

I've tried to go and lay down a few times now, but the wind pain is just so uncomfortable. I have chewed on a degas tablet, so hopefully that will do the trick. laying down isn't a problem at all. it's a little sore, but no where near as sore as what I thought it was going to be. I have my elbow pillow which is just a god sent. I think I might try a heat pack in a minute and see how that goes.

I had some beef broth for dinner and that went down a treat. I don't think I could of stomached any more, even if i tried. I have passed a bit of wind tonight which has been bliss, but there is still plenty more there that wants out!! I have been sipping on some apple juice and water as well. i made some diet jellies up, so they'll be ready to eat tomorrow. I also made some normal jelly up for the kids so they don't steal mine!!

I've felt a little bit of pain in my left shoulder. It hasn't been too bad. more of a dull ache than a pain. Burping helps eases some wind as well. I'm just a bit scared that something might follow through though, so i am being very careful when burping.

The kids have been great and been giving me kisses and hugs all afternoon. Sarah nearly bawled her eyes out when i showed her the bruises on my arms from where they had the drips in. She was very concerned they had hurt her mummy. I told her that I was fine and that they were just from the needles. I let her touch them and she was convinced then. The kids have seen all my war wounds on my stomach. Callum couldn't quite believe I had 6 dressings, He thought that was pretty special.

Bending over to pick things up has been a bit hard and sitting still in the same spot as well. like i said, moving around seems to be doing the trick. I'm trying not to cough as that does hurt quite a bit. not just in my tummy area, but in my throat. i have had a couple of small peppermint teas today which has been really soothing and helpful.

I think today was much better than I had expected. I don't think I overdid it, but I made sure i kept moving around. I don't really feel any different. i have tried to feel for my port but haven't been able to find it. maybe my tummy is a bit too swollen still. But I don't feel as though I have my band around my tummy. I don't what i was expecting really, but I thought I might have been able to feel some restriction. i know it's only early days yet and I'll probably experience that when I go on mushies and solid foods, but I thought I might have been able to feel something or feel different.

Well here's hoping to a good nights sleep tonight!!

I'm Now a Bandit!!!

The next thing I new I was in recover, waking up and coming around and I had a tube in my throat and the nurse was trying to get it out. It was an unpleasant feeling that's for sure. I was in a bit of pain when i cam round and she kept asking me on a scale of 1 - 10 my pain level. I remember saying about an 8 the first time and the she asked me a couple of minutes later and I said a 6, so she gave me more pain meds. Then it had come down to about a 3. I was dozing on and off and I couldn't really remember much else that was going on. I don't even remember getting wheeled back to the ward. I do remember that my mum and dad were there when I got back and it was nice to have them there. I remember mum saying they had been waiting for about an hour, but they helped themselves to coffee and cake in the parents room. I know they didn't stay for too long. I can't even remember what was said. I was so out of it and really tired a groggy.

I was dozing on and off all evening. Luke bought the kids in about 7.30pm on his way home so the kids could say goodnight to me. I remember caressing the kids on their faces as I couldn't lean over to give them a kiss. Xander was giving me strange looks as I had the oxygen mask on and a drip in my left arm. So he wasn't sure what to think. I remember the kids saying they had done their homework in the car and that they had dinner at Grandma's. I really can;t remember anything else that went on or what was said. I was still so out of it. My mouth was all dry and my throat was croaky as.

I didn't sleep much at all over the night. I had a fellow bandit that was done just after me in the next bed. I remember saying hello to her and asking her how she was feeling during the night. I had a terrible time trying to sleep. I had a few 20 - 30 minute dozes. I needed to get up and walk around as i could feel the wind building up inside. It felt really good once I was up and about. I did a few bog laps around the ward, had a chat to the night nurses that were on. I even had some jelly at 3am in the morning!! I felt quite good after eating that. It got the horrible taste out of my mouth!! I went back to bed a few times and had a few more dozes. I just couldn't get comfy. Even though I had taken my contour pillow with me, all I wanted to do was lay on my side, but I wasn't game enough to!! After about an hour of tossing and turning I decided to try and lay on my left side. It actually wasn't that bad. I had another doze and then wok up again to the nurse taking my blood pressure and oxygen levels. I asked her if i could take my drip out at 4am and she did. That helped a bit. I then did a couple of more laps around the ward and then went to the loo. Going to the toilet wasn't that bad. I had to have the tap running as I think I was too relaxed!! But I got it out in the end!! After that I made myself a Peppermint Tea. I only had a couple of sips as I really didn't feel like any more. I thought i was going to explode if I did!! So I tried again to go back to sleep. I dozed for another 45 minutes. By this time it was 6.30am and i was so tired.

At 7am I gave Luke a call. They were all still in bed. I thought they would have been up by now. Oh well!! I had another doze in the meantime while I waited for Luke and Xander to arrive after dropping the kids off. Breakfast turned up at about 8.15am. Yummy Chicken Broth, Jelly and apple juice. I think i had about 5 - 6 tablespoons of the broth and about 4 - 4 of the Jelly and I was full. I had my apple juice a little while after that. At 8.45, Luke and Xander had arrived and Xander finished off my orange Jelly. I was still feeling tired, nauseous and incoherent. Luke took Xander to the play room and i asked the nurse when i could go home. She phoned Dr Watson and asked as he wouldn't be on the ward until after 1.00pm. he said it was fine for me to go. WOO HOO!!! I was out of there. I had to have a couple of my tummy dressings replaced as a couple had oozed a little. I was actually surprised that I wasn't as sore as what i thought I would be. My movement was really good and i was walking normally without any soreness at all. The nurse came back after doing my dressing with all my medications and the most important thing, pain killers!! So I gathered all my stuff and said good bye to my fellow bandit in the other bed. I gave her my copy of 'The Rules of the Road" She appreciated this. I wrote my phone numbers and email on it so we could get together and chat about our experience and how we were both going.

So now here I am, at home, still feeling sore and sorry for myself. I am feeling a little wishy washy in my stomach and my mouth is dry as. It hurts to take in really deep breaths. I am also itchy all over, which i think is from the Tramadol (pain meds). I have 6 dressings on me. I have tried to feel around for my port, but am not game enough to press hard, so I haven't found it yet. I have some beef broth for dinner and I'll have some apple juice. Sounds oh soo exciting!!!
So lets hope I get a good nights sleep tonight!!!

i want to thank everyone for their well wishes in emails, sms's and Erika who is reading my blog!! It's so great to have support and encouragement from other people. My family has been wonderful and so have all those other people that I haven't even met!! So thank you to you all!!

Just before Banding!!

Well I have finally crossed over to the other side!! WOO HOO!! I am feeling very sore and sorry for myself.

Yesterday we dropped the kids off to school, and as usual we were all running around like headless chooks. The kids made it to school just as the siren was going. As soon as they were dropped off, i had to go and drop some bits and pieces off for a Bridal Expo I was showing at. Even though I wouldn't be there, someone was saying my speech on my behalf and I still had my folio there. After that, we dropped Xander off at Grandma's. We stayed there for about an hour and then we started heading off to the hospital. I had to make a quick stop to the newsagent to stock up on some magazines and to the chemist for some degas.

We arrived at the hospital at about 10.50 and trying to find parking was a nightmare. There were cars everywhere so we had to be on the lookout for cars leaving. It didn't take us too long to get a spot though. I checked into the main desk at exactly 11.00am. i had to wait about 10 minutes until I saw the admissions clerk. I saw her, she asked a few routine questions and before I knew it I was on my way up to my ward. We had to wait about 15 minutes in the lounge area, but then the nurse came and took me to St Gabrielle's ward (the kids ward, but no kids were there!! LOL).

By now it was 11.30 and Herbie Fully Loaded had just started on the movie channel, so we sat there and watched that. Luke and I also flicked through some magazines. At 12.00pm I had a heparin injection in my tummy and I got to put on the sexy dark blue gown and my sexy stockings. At 1.10pm I was given a pre-med, some panadol, and anti-reflux tablet and an anti nauseous tablet with the smallest amount of water to go with them. I was starting to get nervous and really anxious, but it didn't take long for the pre-med to kick in. it settled my nerves a little, but I was still shaking a little bit.

Luke left at 2.50 to go and pick the kids up from school and just as he was walking out the door they were here to wheel me down to theatre!! GULP!! The trip on the gurney is always a long one to theatre. You still have all the questions going through your head and even the occasional thought of not making it through was passing by!! I had to wait in the waiting area for about 20 minutes to half an hour. Dr Watson came a saw me and wished me luck and told me not long to go now and asked me if I had any questions, which of course I didn't have any to ask. So it was a pretty quick visit. But he really did reassure me, which was great!!

About 10 minutes after Dr Watson had been, they were back for me. It was quite a long way to the theatre. I was being operated in theatre 6. I tell you though, the operating theatre looks nothing like you see them on TV. They are much smaller and don't look all that green like you see them. They pulled my bed up next to the operating table and I had to shuffle myself onto that and lie down. I had both the arms rests out which I had to place my arms on. They put the sticky pads on my chest and the finger thing on me to do my oxygen levels. Then Dr Lumsden (the anaesthetist) came and said hello to me and told me he would be placing a needle in my left hand and that I would be feeling sleepy within 30 seconds. I had the oxygen mask placed over my mouth and I swear it was going to suffocate me. I could feel Dr Lumsden giving me the injection and I remember fighting it and then before I knew it I was out like a light!!

Today's the Day!!!

Well here I am, drinking the my last Optifast shake for while. I didn't have the best of sleeps last night. I kept waking up, thinking it was already morning and ready to go. I didn't have any bad dreams last night, so i guess that's a good thing. Mum hasn't phoned me yet to tell me she dreamt of her dad last night. Every time she dreams of her dad and speaks to him, someone in the family passes away. So finger crossed!!!

I did my first pre-op shower last night and I am just about to go and have my second one. got to love that chlorhexidine wash!! I can't use any moisturiser or creams, which is a bummer because my skin has dried up using it and it's a bit flaky on my face. Oh Well!! I ended up doing my eyebrows last night while sitting in bed watching Crossing Jordan. yes I had a late one. Can't you telly I'm a little anxious and nervy??

So the plan for this morning is to pack my bag, ready for hospital (YES I haven't done that yet!!), take the kids to school, stop in and see someone regarding a bridal dinner I am supposed to be exhibiting at tonight (I have to drop my folio and stuff off to them), drop Xander off at Grandma's and then it should be 11am, which is time to be at the hospital for admission.

So here I am, patiently waiting, feeling very nervous, anxious and still thinking "What am i doing?". I am sure everything will be alright!! My next blog entry will be the start of my new life, so now I am closing the chapter of this part of my life.

Twas the night before banding!!!

'Twas the night before Banding, when all through my gut not a morsel was stirring, not even a nut. The suitcase was packed by the back door with care, in hopes that a new me would soon return there. I lay nestled, snug in my bed while visions of calories danced in my head; And me in my plus size pyjamas and wrap, had just settled in for a long restless nap. When deep in my mind there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my dreams to see what was the matter. Away to my fridge I flew like a flash, ripped open the door and drooled at the stash. The moonlight reflecting off the beautiful snacks gave a lustre of radiance to all on the racks. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but an array of the comfort foods I hold so dear. With a familiar feeling of all those I'd pick,I thought in a moment I just might be sick. More lovely than angels their voices they came, and they whistled and shouted and called me by name; "Now pizza, now french fries, now chocolate galore on cheesecake, on ice cream, on donuts and more!" From the tip of my tongue, to the bottom of my toe, I will miss you all more than ever you'll know. As an addict that shakes and stirs as he sits,I'll mourn the loss of my delectable hits. So back to my bed I went with great haste, and settled back down with nary a taste. And then in an instant, in pre-op I sat, nervously waiting to no longer be fat. As I sat deep in thought and adjusted my gown,in came my surgeon in one single bound.He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his feetand he seemed very calm as he eyed me like meat. He looked at my chart, with his scope gave a listen; I don't think he noticed my eyes start to glisten.

2 Sleeps to GO!!!

I don't know if it's Optifast or if it's the nerves starting to set in, but I have felt so sick and nauseous since yesterday afternoon. My stomach is just churning and the thought of another Optifast meal isn't helping. It took me ages to get to sleep last night as every time I went to lay down I felt like I was going to throw up. I never did, but just that feeling was enough!! I stopped having the bars today and went back onto the shakes. Just the though of stomaching another one of those bars is just making my mouth fill of saliva. Oh, and the running to the toilet. I was just full of wind last night and all i wanted to do was to sit on the toilet and try and have a good poo, but all that came out was wind. Not the nicest of smells either. But today, I have had more than one or two good poos. hopefully that's some kilo's being flushed away!!

I have this horrible metallic taste in my mouth today and just feel like crap in general. Maybe it doesn't help that I have just been told that DH is flying out to Adelaide on Sunday night (3 days after surgery) for a week. Just what I needed, to deal with 3 kids and recover after surgery. Everything that the doctor has just told me flew out the window about not picking baby up for at least 2 weeks and not driving for a week. And that I am supposed to rest for a week after surgery. On top of all that I am 'trying' to finish up with business tomorrow and some people are just taking their time with getting guest lists back to me!! I have given them at least 2 - 3 weeks notice and still here I am waiting for them!! And the worse thing is, I can't even have a good chocolate or ice cream pig out to make myself feel better!!

I have been so grumpy and feral today. It's not been a good day!! The kids have been jumping off the walls all afternoon. poor little Xander ran straight into the fridge door when it was open and now has a lovely big egg on his head. The a bit later on, his sister thought it was a great idea to chase him and push him over, so he went face first into the floor and blood was just everywhere!! The poor little man had put a huge gash on the inside of his mouth on his gums, plus the skin had come away from his top two teeth. I had blood all over me, he had blood all over him and the floor had blood all over it.

I don't know if it's the lack of food but my head has been pounding all day!! I have had such a short fuse and as I have said I am just a grumpy cow right now!!

4 and 3 sleeps to Go!!!

It's certainly creeping up now. not long to go and the waiting is driving me crazy, especially since I don't have to be at the hospital until 11am with a mid afternoon surgery!! Why can't I just be first on the list??

I am starting to despise the Optifast bars now. I am so over the taste and the texture of them. I just want some real food!! It's so mean when the family are having party pies and sausage rolls for dinner and that's all I can smell through the house. And the worst part is when I have to break little Xander's food ups. Oh how I miss real solid food right now!! But I am staying strong and haven't given in to temptation. No matter how good it smells, losing weight is more satisfying and important!!

Hubby has been reading all the literature from the doctor and various other sites I have downloaded and printed stuff from. He's been fantastic and telling me off if I am not chewing enough or taking too big a bites. he's even told me off for drinking with my meals!! That's such a hard one to over come!! I keep telling him to leave me alone and let me enjoy it while I can. But he's right, I should be breaking my old habits now!!

We did the grocery shopping on Saturday and I have been stocking up on things I will need for after the surgery. I bought quite a few packets of cup a soups. the 99% and 98% fat free ones of course. I bought more peppermint tea and some other different flavoured teas. I got some new toiletries for the hospital and some other bits and pieces I thought might come in handy.

6 and 5 sleeps to Go!!

Well yesterday was a busy day. I had my pre-admission appointment at 9am at the hospital, so i decided I would go earlier and have my blood tests done as well. 9 vials of blood later and 1 on ice, I think I had no blood left in my system. My veins were playing hide and seek and didn't really want to participate, but with a little encouragement and help from the nurse, we managed to find a good one that supplied her with lots of blood!! As soon as I was done there, I took the back corridors through the hospital (yes I do know my way around the hospital very well) and took myself to the main entrance for my pre-admission. I went straight in. It was just more routine questions they ask you like if you smoke, have any medical problems etc etc. i got measures up for some sexy stockings and she weighed me. I was keen to be weighed as I wanted to see how well the Optifast was doing. I had lost 3.7 kilo's since last Tuesday!!! WOO HOOO!!! I was really happy with that!! I hope they weigh me again before I have my band done so i can get all the figures and add them all in so i can keep a good record of everything.

I had finished up with the nurse and I had to go back to the other side of the hospital to hand my consent form in to Dr Watson. So it's all happening now. Everything has been paid for so all I have to do now is turn up on the day!!

Last night we had dinner out as it was hubby's little brothers 21st birthday. I think I did pretty well and was very pleased with myself. I didn't have any garlic bread of bruchetta's. Instead I ordered a bowl of minestrone soup and a scotch fillet steak and salad and I even told them no fries. So that's my last 'eating out' meal before the big day. It's Optifast all the way no until Wednesday morning.

I decided to buy the Optifast bars on Thursday and give them a go and I have to say that I much prefer the bars to the shakes now. I actually find them more satisfying and keep the hunger pains away for longer, so I'm not rummaging through the cupboards trying to be naughty!! I haven't tried the soups in the Optifast range. only in the Tony Ferguson. I think after the op I will do 2 TF or Optifast meals a day when I am back on solids and then do my main meal as something a bit nicer.

Tonight we have my brother in laws 21st birthday do at their house. It will just be water for me and salad. I'll make sure I take an Optifast bar for dinner. I only have 4 more sleeps until the big day now!!

7 Sleeps to Go!!

Eeeeeeek!!! I got all the paperwork and the formalities for the surgery today. I don't think it had really hit me until I started reading through everything. No one told me about blood tests!! I have a pathology form in with all the paperwork to have my blood taken!! And it's not for 2 or 3 things, I can count 14 different tests on there!! Eeeek is an understatement!! And I have to fast for 8 - 10 hours, so lets hope they aren't super busy.

So I've signed my consent form to have the procedure, so now I have to send it back to Dr Watson. It really puts things into perspective and gives you a real wake up call when they put things in the paper work like death and significant complications may arise. Don't even want to think about those or even go there with any of them!! Let's hope everyone is having a good day next Wednesday!!

I have my pre-admission with the hospital at 9am on Friday, so I thought I would go and do everything else then. Blood tests, hand the forms in to Dr Watson and give the hospital their admission form. Saves me trying to do it later and I am there anyways!!

It's all becoming so real now and yes, I am getting a little nervous. I really have no idea really what to expect or even how I should be feeling afterwards. i have only heard it from other peoples experiences and we all experience and go through things differently. But I guess everyone gets nervous and edgy right before a 'planned' surgery. I know I have had a few unplanned surgeries, but you don't get time to think about them or absorb any of it because before you know it. it's over and done with. But when you have a couple of weeks to prepare and stew about it, it really does play on your mind. I am sure everything will be fine though and I have every little bit of faith in my surgical team. I guess Wednesday is the best day to have an op as there minds are with the job. on Mondays and Tuesday everyone is normally recovering from the weekend and on Thursdays and Fridays everyone is planning and concentrating on the upcoming weekend!! hehehe Just a little joke I remember from way back :))

8 Sleeps to Go!!

I felt like a bit of a change today and coloured my hair a really dark / red brown. it's about 5 or 6 shades darken than I already was. I thought that I want to 'freshen' myself up before I had my surgery. I'm going to go and get my haircut this week and get my eyebrows waxed and tinted. Nothing like out with the old and in with the new!!

Today I felt pretty good, although coming towards the end of the day I am feeling really tired and ready to crash. must be the lack of carbs in my system!! I've got so much work done today, so I can go and enjoy myself out at lunch tomorrow without having to worry about coming back to piles and pile of work. I'm not sure how recovery will affect me doing my business. Hopefully I'll be abler to sit at my computer for short periods to at least answer emails and do quotes. I'll have a little bit of work to get on with when I come home, but not much. I have given myself a little bit of breathing space. Hubby is going to take a few days off work after my surgery and then he's going to take a week off over school holidays, which will be a great help.

I don't have a set of scales at home, so I can't weigh myself to see how I've been going on the Optifast and TF. I'll just have to wait until I go to the gym or got to MIL's and use hers!! I think I have dropped a kilo or two. My pants have become a little looser than what they were. Which is a good thing I guess. Too bad that we all do the Optifast 2 weeks prior to being banded. i was sitting here today thinking about a 'last supper'. I am sure there have been a few people that have gone on a huge binge right before being banded. I don't blame them if they have!! I don't think I will be though. i have been so good and to muck it all up now would just mean I have given in to temptation!! Not me!!!

Speaking of the gym, I haven't been for nearly 2 weeks and feel so bad because I haven't. Yes I have been slack and haven't organised creche, but when I think about it, it's too late and I know how fast the creche books up. I actually miss the gym and my personal training sessions I was having. I was going so well. my ankle is starting to feel better so i think the rest has done it the world of good. So maybe it wasn't a bad thing having a couple of weeks off.

9 Sleeps to Go!!

Well there's no turning back now. I got a call from the anaesthetist's office today, confirming my surgery for the 21st March. so i am all booked in and on his schedule now. It really is happening. It's quite scary actually. I have to be at the hospital at 11am for admission and my surgery isn't until mid afternoon!! I can't believe I have to wait most of the day!! I'll be so nervous and just want it over and done with...... but they are making me wait!! So not fair!! I haven't heard from Dr Watson yet!! I thought I might have received some paperwork or something by now. oh well, he's obviously very busy and I am just impatient!!

Today had been a great day on the Optifast. I didn't feel hungry at all today. I need to remember to drink more though. I have been a bit slack with keeping up with my water requirements. Normally I am pretty good, but I forgot my water bottle today and I don't like to drink too much before going to bed otherwise I'll be up and down like a yo-yo all night to the toilet.

I had the weirdest dream last night, or should i say in the early hours of the morning. It was quite funny actually. I was dreaming that I was dropping my weight. Just little bits of me falling off. I think the dream comes about from a recent trip I took to the Chemist where I saw a Xenical display and they had 1 kilo of fat sitting on the table. I think it was made out of silicone of something. So in my dream, these bits of fat were just falling off. It really got me thinking though when I did wake up, where does the weight go? I mean one minute it's there and then you lose 2 - 3 kilo's. So where has it "gone"? I know that it gets burnt up in energy and that we excrete it, but you put all this weight on, and then when you lose it, it just like, vanishes!! It really has me intrigued actually. Especially when you compare it to a kilo of fat or a kilo of sugar or something in a physical form.

The one thing that has me worried is the skin. When I do eventually lose my weight, how much saggy skin am i going to have? I am going to do my best by keeping up at the gym and with my personal training to try and not have it happen, but it's something that I always think about. I know I am going to have that flabby tummy overhang, but I am worried about my arms and thighs. Hopefully i can tone them right up as I am losing the weight. if not a bit of lipo can fix that!! hahahaha DH has said to me when I do reach goal wight I can have a tummy tuck!! So that is my big goal and incentive to lose this weight!! Maybe I can do a bit of lipo as the same time as well?? hehehe I've been told by a few people that because I am still youngish, my skin 'should' spring back. So I hope they are right!!

I guess the best thing I am looking forwards to, apart from being a smaller me, is the shopping!! Oh how I can't wait until I can go into 'skinny' clothes shops and buy clothes and bra's and underwear!! I can't wait!! Not being able to buy something and having to try it on first. Can you see that i am jumping up and down with excitement here??

10 Sleeps to Go!!

I've been doing some research on the Internet for the last week, finding as much information as I can about the the Lapband and fellow "bandits". I cam across a great article in the yahoo message boards, called 'Rules of the Road, What you need to know about living with the band" by Robin McCoy. One thing that will be hard to adapt to will be not drinking at meal times. I'm supposed to drink my last drink 30 minutes before a meal and then nothing to drink for at least an hour after a meal. Even water!! For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed a beverage at mealtime or just prior. So this will take some getting used to. The main reason that we're not supposed to drink during our meal, is because liquids wash the food through the band which defeats the purpose.

I'm really putting into practise the smaller bites, more chewing and slower eating concept!! I must look really funny and weird to other people. I even had a giggle at dinner time today with my mother in law about the chewing thing!!

I am trying to wind my business down at the moment and finish everything off this week before the big day on Wednesday next week. I have quite a bit of work to finish off, so I'll be quite busy this week. Wednesday is pretty much a write off as we have organise a suppliers lunch. So I'll be carefully picking something very low fat off the menu. Chicken or fish and salad I think!! I'll just make lunch my main meal and have Optifast for dinner. So it will all work out.

I did quite a bit of walking around in Freo today, so I definitely did my 30 minutes of exercise. I just had my DD and DS3 with me today. DS1 was playing hockey this morning at the stadium with his uncle. I also finished the washing today which was another load the filled the washing line up.

Before I sign out tonight, I want to put in this quote that Robin McCoy says at the end of her article.

"Surgery is not the magic pill we have all been waiting for. You will not wake up thin. You must be willing to meet the band half way. You will lose weight at a different pace than your friends.

You must change your behaviour for this to work. It is a tool—and nothing more. An electric mixer is easier than mixing by hand but you still have to follow the recipe for the cake to taste good.
Right now you should be asking yourself one question—“Am I ready to go the distance?”

It can be a joyful journey with the highest of highs. Moments that are so thrilling and uplifting that you don’t think you will ever come down. It is also a frightening journey as we venture into unfamiliar territory of who we are and where we are going. You are not going down this path alone. There are many Bandsters ahead of you on this path that are ready to help you along the way and take you with them to the next level.

So I ask, “Are you ready to go the distance?”

11 Sleeps to Go!!

Today I have been practicing my slow eating and chewing. I guess when you eat, you never really think about how many times you chew and don't realise how fast you actually eat. But Dr Watson told me to start chewing as if I had the Lapband already. I should be chewing between 23 - 30 times. Boy does this really slow your eating down. Great exercise for your jaw though!! I remember my dad always telling me you should chew your food 22 times (or something like that) and now, I really have to put it in practice!! But really, have you ever sat there and counted how many times you chew your food??

The Optifast is going OK!! yeah, just OK. I went back to my old habit of skipping breakfast this morning!! I know, I know!! It's the worse thing I can do. And yes, I did tell myself off for it. My eldest son had a friend sleep over last night and I treated them for breakfast. I was so proud of myself. (This is where the missed breakfast comes into it). I got all the kids hotcakes and myself an orange juice. I had planned to have the Optifast when I got back home, but it never happened. I made it for lunch though!!

I did a good workout today!! Cleaning the house. Vacuuming and mopping all the floors. Gee it's a real workout. And hanging the washing out and bringing it in. While I was outside, hanging the washing out, I noticed we had a step all along the garden bed. So I thought to myself this would be great to do morning step up and downs. It's the perfect height. So I did a few there. I didn't last very long though as the step down was hurting my ankle. (I hurt this ankle back in January. Lets just say I had a disagreement with my bicylce, and it's still not right!!).

I am only doing the 2 meal replacements a day. No way could I survive on all 3. So I had a nice dinner of salmon and salad with lots of chewing and counting!! I have gone off all alcohol and I was so tempted by a nice red tonight, but it wasn't as tempting as a skinnier me!!!

12 Sleeps to Go!!

Today is day 3 of the Optifast / TF program!! I have ran out of the TF so am now using what I have left of the Optifast from previous attempts!! I much prefer the TF!! Adding ice to the Optifast doesn't make it too bad, but you would have thought they could make some more flavours!!

As the big day draws nearer, I find myself doing more and more research and spending time reading the yahoo message boards. There are so many wonderful and inspirational people out there. i commend each and everyone of these people for the weightloss they have achieved!! And I know if they can get through it, then I can do this!! I do have my doubts from time to time. Am I doing the right thing? Should I give WW another go before I really commit? I have all these thoughts running through my head. Am I insane?? What if it doesn't work? Will I be stuck eating like a bird for the rest of my life? All these questions I have!! But reading the yahoo message boards puts my mind at ease as I realise I am not the only person that has the questions and thoughts. So it is a huge relief to know that i do have the support and encouragement from others!! Even though I have never met them, but we will or are going to share the same journey.

My whole family is being very supportive of my decision, which i think has made it easier to 'prepare' myself. I have sent off all the links to my mum, so she can have a look at what is involved. So that way she has an idea whats going on and how I might be feeling.

I guess unless people have been overweight and obese, they don't really know what you are going through. You get som many comments saying, oh it's not that hard to lose weight. They wouldn't have a clue. they don't have to 'watch their weight'. They already have the nice size 10 or 12. I know what 'skinny' people think. "Oh she just eats too much" or "She must eat so much junk food" or "She doesn't exercise". But that's just not true at all. I eat all the right foods, but like my mum said to me once, "It's not that I eat the wrong foods, I just eat to much of the right foods" which is true. It's not like I sit on the lounge all day and stuff my face either. i run a business from home, do all the household duties as well as attend to my 19 month old son. I have my 3 meals a day and I am not much of a snacker at all. We have the takeaway maybe once a fortnight and I normally go the healthy option.

I am starting to map out a plan of attack once I am 'banded'. I know there will be recovery time and soreness, but I want to at least get back to my exercise and start up my personal training again not long afterwards. i know I will only be on light duties to start with, but I want to make every attempt at doing the right thing from the word go!! I am determined to be a skinny me for my 30th birthday on the 10th January 2008!!!

13 Sleeps to go

On Tuesday 6th March 2007, I made the decision to be banded. After struggling with my weight for the last 12 - 13 years, I have decided enough is enough. My weight started to pile on when I was put onto epilepsy medication. I couldn't understand why I was putting on all this weight. I think the doctors failed to tell me this side effect. I was only on them for about a year or two, but all the damage had already been done.

I have tried everything from Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Optifast, Tony Ferguson and even dieting by myself. I can lose the first 3 - 4 and sometimes even up to 6 kilo's, but can never get past that stage. it's so frustrating, especially when i am so determined and have been going hard yakka at the gym since New Years.

I had my appointment with the fantastic Dr Stephen Watson on Tuesday. I had my mother in law come along with me for some moral support as well as looking after two of the kids. We discussed my history and my previous weight loss attempts. We discussed in detail what was involved about the lapband. how they would do the procedure, what I would feel like afterwards and I even got to see a little video of them actually doing the operation. It was a bit terrifying, but also at the same time it was exciting as this would close one chapter of my life and open a completely new one.

Today, Thursday, is my second day on the 2 week Optifast program before the surgery. Instead of the Optifast, i am doing the Tony Ferguson. I just can't stomach the Optifast. I have the shake for breakfast and then the soup for lunch, i find that the soup is a little more satisfying than the shake. for dinner I have been having a salad with a small piece of chicken or red meat. the first few days of the program are hard. you have to deal with the fuzzy and light headiness from the lack of carbs and I have been very moody. But it's only for 2 weeks!!