The end of a year!!

Well it is almost that time of the year where you say good bye to 2007 and welcome 2008!! OMG what a year it certainly has been. I am 3 months shy of being banded for 1 year, so I'll be celebrating my very first bandaversary soon!! YAY for me!!! I don't think I would have reached my goal weight by my 30th birthday. I think I am about 25 kilos away, but now I'll use my bandaversary as a goal date!!

I certainly have become more active and sometimes I think where does all the energy come from as I feel as though I can dance the night away sometimes!! I am still a bit of a slacker when it comes the gym. I know I really have to make an effort to tone the body up, but it's just a time issue really. I know what you are all thinking, excuses, excuses!!

I have had some fill put back in since my little incident in hospital. Dr Watson only put half of what I had. I still feel as though I could have a tad more, but I won't get as much as what I had before as I feel as though I was overfilled, but didn't want to admit that I was. I think I have only PB'd twice and that was my own stupid fault for not chewing my food enough!! No matter how hard I try and imprint it in my brain, i still haven't got the concept of smaller bite sized pieces of food. I will learn eventually.

Christmas day is going to be very interesting though. Normally I gorge myself silly and then feel sorry for myself afterwards. This year is going to be very different indeed. Not just because I know I can't because if I do I'll be in severe pain, but I don't feel as though I want to do it. I have lost all this weight and I don't want to undo it. So I guess I am coming to my senses in a way as well.

I have hit an ultimate high through this experience and that's the compliments and pick ups that I am getting. It's so very flattering and makes my head spin. I still look in the mirror though and see this other person that I was staring back at me. it's not a pretty sight at all!! But then i have to slap myself and tell myself that, 'That person doesn't exist anymore!!'

2 weeks of agony!!!

It started 2 Monday's ago when i woke up in severe pain. The Sunday before, I found it very strange not keeping anything at all down, not even water. And yes of course, i was thinking the worst. Band slippage or something wrong with the band. I tried to search high and low for Dr Watson's mobile number, even put a post asking if anyone had it, but I didn't get any emails until later.

At 6am on the Monday morning when I tried to have a sip of water and just threw it right back up, as well as the severe pain i was experiencing around where the band was, hubby took me to Murdoch ED. I went straight in. I was gobsmacked actually. It was dead quiet, but I wasn't complaining as the pain was just so unbearable. The doctor came and saw me right away and gave me some pain meds. i told them I was allergic to morphine so they gave me something equivalent. Good stuff, but didn't last long!! LOL He then had trouble finding my port, but we eventually found it and he took all my fill out, but still no relief. He then sent me for a barium meal (or something similar) / gastrograph. The drink tasted like and off version of ouzo. So gross!! It didn't really show much except I had a bit of inflammation and ulceration from my recent throwing up episodes, but it didn't really explain my pain.

I spent the next few days high on pethidine, on Nexium for the vomiting as well as Zophryn and other stuff. I had a CT scan which didn't show much either. Dr Watson was fantastic and came in every day to see me. He was just as puzzled as I was though as there was nothing wrong with the band. It was absolutely perfect and doing what it should be. No slippage, no erosion, no nothing. even blood work showed NIL results. We were baffled. On Friday, they did and endoscope. And again, nothing. We were still scratching our heads!! Gastro kept coming to mind as I had the runs something chronic until Thursday and I was hardly eating. I think I had 2 bags of fluid to begin with but I wasn't dehydrated that much.

So I went home on Saturday. I still had a bit of discomfort and felt not right, but went home. Sunday I spent most of the day in bed as I felt a little off and uncomfortable. then came Monday morning, the pain was back. I actually did phone Dr Watson this time though. I didn't expect him to answer as I knew he was in surgery, but someone answered. I told him what had gone on and didn't realise that he was relaying it to Dr Watson. He told me to go back to emergency. So I did. So I was readmitted again for another 6 days.

They did another gastrograph, but still didn't show anything and on Tuesday I had an MRI done, nothing again. Dr Watson was really baffled this time, so he called in Dr Cooke, which was the surgeon who actually referred me to Dr Watson when I was having some bowel issues. So he knew my history etc etc. He came in and we had a good yak and he said gastro. Chronic Gastro. The pain is caused from the vomiting as I was just hurling it up and probably bruised around my band, I had the runs something chronic, not eating and not drinking. The second stay I was written up for 8 bags of fluid in my 6 day stay. i knew I was really dehydrated as my skin was flaking, my mouth was very dry and my lips were all cracked. Dr Watson told me to be careful with no fill in, but the last thing on my mind was food. It took me over a week to bring myself to eat any food and that was on the Thursday night before I left the second time. I still had lots of pain and was on pethidine all week again.

Dr Cooke had started me on Nofloxin (antibiotics) on Wednesday and by Thursday afternoon, I had improved 100%. Still not feeling the best, but the runs had stopped, I had perked up and was starting to eat a little. Dr Watson came every single day, whether it was between surgeries of between other patients and consults, he came every day. I was impressed!! He came in Friday late afternoon and told me i had looked the best he had seen me in the last 10 days and I told I felt it too, so he said i could on Saturday morning if I was up to it. So I did. I was ready to go at 9am Saturday morning. I had had enough. I was exhausted!!

So in the end, we put it down to gastro, even though nothing showed up in blood tests, but Dr Cooke said it doesn't always show and you have to be looking for the right virus as well. He was really nice to chat with and talk to. he congratulated me and was very impressed with my weight loss and said he wanted to see me at goal!! I smiled and told him for sure!!

So that's my little 2 week adventure in and out and back in and then out of hospital again!!

DOUBLE DIGITS!!! OH YEAH!!!!

I just jumped off the scales that I made mum bring to me today and I have FINALLY hit the double digits!! WOO HOOOOOOO!!! OH YEAH!!! No more triple digits here!!!! I am estatic as you an probably tell. Thing I have to go and do some retail therapy to celebrate now!!!

OH SO CLOSE!!!!

I was at mums today and yes, as usual, jumped on her scales for the weekly weigh in as I know her scales are dead accurate and I am 100.4 kilo's!! 500 grams off being in the double digits!!! OH MAN!!! Just have to work extra hard this week to make it up!!

I think doing lots of walking at work is really helping plus also doing some toning. I suggest to all you ladies and gents out there, get a retail job in fashion!! Not only will you look good in your new sexy small clothes, but you'll do allot of walking!!! I have to remember to put on my pedometer for one of my shifts and actually see how many steps I do actually do.

Anyways, just thought I would give you all any update... Cheerio :)

Almost at double digits!!

Well I jumped on the scales at mums today and I was rapt that I was down to 101.5!! YAY!!! but still not quite there with the double digits yet!! I am so going to celebrate when i hit the double digits!! No more triple digits ever again for me!!

There's not much to report really. I have still been slacking off and I really need someone to shove a stick of dynamite up my ass and get me motivated!! I did got for a 3km walk last week and that was about it. I felt really good afterwards too. The weather has been really crappy here in lovely Perth lately so I guess I can use that as an excuse, but I won't be able to for much longer as the weather is starting to fine up now!! I went and had a bit of a splurge last week after work and bought some new exercise gear which I must admit I look pretty hot in!! hahahaha.

School holidays are just around the corner (like today at 3.10pm) so i am going to make sure I go bike riding with the kids and get my ass into gear a bit more.

Anyhow, that's all I really have to report for now. Until next time.........

Daughter v's Mother

So you think overweight, almost 30 year olds can't do handstands??? Well guess again!! YES, that's right, my almost 7 year old daughter said to me today, "Mum, can you do handstands?" I let out a sarcastic laugh and said, I used to when I was your age, but I think I would break something now if I tried. She then said, well why don't you try. You always tell me to give it a go. Which is true. i always tell the kids to give it a go before they say they can't do something. So here I was, shaking in my whatever it was I was shaking in, and I did it, a handstand. Something I haven't done in over 10 years!! And gee I still had my knack!! It took me a couple of goes to get to a walking handstand, but I got there!! hahahaha. Must have been an absolute good laugh if anyone was watching!! But I can tell you that I am going to absolutely feel it tomorrow. And yes, I did do stretches and warm up. I am still as limber as I used to be. Can still do the splits as I discovered today, but that's another sore spot I'll feel tomorrow as well!!

But it just goes to show, that your confidence gets a huge boost when you have lost a huge amount of weight. Even though i still have another 25 - 30 kilo's to go, the 22 i have already lost has made me feel unbelievable!! I am doing things I haven't done since I was an energetic teenager. I am starting to feel really good about myself and I CAN start to see the difference when I look at myself in the mirror. even though sometimes I still see the 130 kilo me, I can see the difference when i look hard enough.

It's also amazing at how different people treat you. even though I am still overweight, people treat me differently. I guess because they see me different and can see a new personality coming out in me. But it does make you wonder why society snubs overweight people. We are no different from the thin people in the world. We are just bigger. We still have the same blood and same heart, but after losing weight, we are just a smaller person. I guess unless you have been an overweight person, you don't really know how much you are judged and how society treats you differently. It's wrong, but that's just the way it is.

I am starting to love the new me. I am still very cautious and nervous as being overweight for 10 years is a long time, but the new me is starting to show!!

So I'm a slacker!!

I know!! I know!! I have been really slack in posting and keeping all my fellow followers hanging on by the edge of their seat with my progress!! hahaha It's wishful thinking to know that I have that many of you watching and reading about my progress, after all we do have more important things to be doing like waiting anxiously for the return of Grey's Anatomy or Desperate Housewives!! I know I am!!

Things have been going great!! I had a review with the fantastic Dr Watson on the 4th. I had only lost about 4.5 kilo's since the last visit, but he says I am doing superbly. He said to me that if everyone came in and told him "I only eat when I am hungry" he would be out of the job. But on thinking about it, I do. i don't get the opportunity to snack between meals because the little amount that I do eat fills me up until the next meal. I do occasionally have a cracker or maybe a biscuit if it's offered, but apart from that, NOTHING!! He didn't put a fill in this time, but mind you, i am still coming to grips with the last fill. I have a feeling that I may have reached my 'sweet spot'. If I have, i am a very satisfied woman!!!

My wardrobe is starting to put on a bit of weight now. Since I left Flight Centre (full time) and am now working casual at Suzanne Grae's (YES because I can fit into their clothes) my wardrobe is loving it!! And so am I!! It is such a fantastic and wonderful feeling to be able to fit in 'normal' peoples clothes and to be able to go to their shops as well.

It's great to get comments from other people saying how fantastic you look. My mum sent me a photo that was taken on my 29th birthday back in January this year and then one she had taken 2 weeks ago!! OMG!! What a difference. even though I look in the mirror (like today) and I still can't see it, yet when I look at the photo's I can. Sometimes I wish I can just slap my brain back into the present!! Not going to happen anytime soon though.

I am still being a slack ass though and haven't been to the gym, but I did go for a bike ride the other day and I didn't have a sore butt the next day, which means my butt must actually fit on the seat how it's supposed to. That kind of made me feel good.

Well I don't see the Dr until the end of November and I am absolutely determined to be under the 100 kilo mark!! OH YEAH!! BRING IT ON!!!

20 kilo's down!!!!

Well I go there. I have shed 20 kilo's. I am absolutely dumbfounded really. I mean, where has it gone? I have almost lost the weight of my daughter!! It's amazing and I really can't explain how I am feeling. There are just too many emotions to describe it!! Ecstatic, relieved, happy, lighter, happier etc etc. I am sure I can name a heap more, but those are the ones that are coming to my mind at present!!

I went and had a bit of a splurge this week, well I should say a big splurge!!! I went shopping!!! WOO HOOO!! Us girls all like to shop, but when you have been restricted to 'big girl' and plus sizes for the last 10 years you don't enjoy shopping for clothes that much, but when you don't fit in 'plus' sizes anymore, it's a whole different feeling!! I was so ecstatic to walk into Suzanne Grae's and Rockman's and just fit into their clothes. It was such a great feeling!! I just want to keep going back for more because I know I can!! It's truly such a wonderful feeling!!!

On the subject of clothes and stuff, lets talk about shoes and shrinking feet. The last place that I expected to shrink was my feet / shoe size. I have gone from being size 9/10 to now a 7.5 / 8. Not that I am complaining or anything because I got to give away 14 pairs of shoes so i could make way for new shoes, it's just I hadn't even thought about smaller feet. But again, it's another ecstatic feeling!!

I spent most of the weekend going through all my drawers and walk in robes to remove the evidence of ever being a size 22 and it was a great feeling to just 'toss' it all on the floor. I went from having a full hanging wardrobe of 3 meters to about 30cm. I nearly passed out when I realised the the pile of clothes on the floor was as tall as me, but it wasn't a bad awful feeling, it was a great, fantastic feeling because it meant I had to replace them and go shopping!!!

I weighed myself at mum's on Monday and I weighed in at 106.5kgs, so the weight is still coming off, which is a good thing!! I've just been pretty slack about going to the gym, which is very naughty of me, I know!!! Maybe next week!!!

3 Months down!! YAY!!!

I had my 3 month appointment just over a week ago and everything is going fantastic. Dr Watson couldn't be more happier with the results and says that I am coming along superbly!! It's so great to see his computer system that tracks my results and then for me to actually see it and how far I have come in 3 months. It really makes your head spin!! I only had a smidge of a fill as I didn't think I needed mu more. What a difference a couple of mls makes though, but after a few days you hardly notice it, so I am glad I did get a little bit as my next appointment isn't for another 3 months!!

I am realty starting to actually see the weight loss now. It's taken me a while to 'physically' see it when i look in the mirror, but my brain is starting to catch up and notice it now, which is great. I am really starting to feel good and I can start to see it too, which makes the world of difference in your self esteem.

I went to an annual work ball on Saturday night, and when I was shopping for my ball dress, not only did I buy it 2 sizes down from what I normally get, I had to have it altered in the top part, which made me feel great!! And I must admit, I was looking hot!!

Another victory was when I have to have my belt taken in and have 3 sections pulled off at it was way too big and kept sliding down. Gee did that bring a huge smile to my face and made me stand taller. It was so exciting!!

I know I still have a way to go and I have only just put a dent in, but I am seeing the results which is making me more determined than ever to keep going and to be at my goal weight for my birthday.

I am down to 119.8 kilo's now and keep going down!!

Just plodding along nicely!!!

Well I am coming up to my 3 month appointment with Dr Watson in a week and a half. I don't think I need a fill as I am still struggling with allot of foods and trying to get them down. I have discovered some nice thick soups, so I am loving soups still. I can manage solid food in small quantities and I really have to be in the mood for it too.

I have been really slack with the gym side of things. I went this morning for the first time in about 3 months. It really showed too as I was dead by the end of the hour!!! LOL I think I'll just ease back into it slowly. I felt really good afterwards though, but ask me again in the morning how I'm going to feel!!

The weight is going good. I jumped on the scales today at the gym and I was exactly 111kg!! WOO HOOOOO!!! 17.7 kilo's down!!! I was ecstatic!! And I even went to Rockmans and fitted in their normal size clothes. I know they are a tad more generous than other clothing stores, but the main thing is I fit!!! WOOO HOOOO!! It was such a great feeling. I am so looking forwards to shopping in 'normal' clothing shops and not having to pay a fortune for clothes!!!

I've lost count now!! LOL

Well I seem to be going alright. Allot of things have surprised me with what I can and can't (or should I say my body won't let me) have. I seem to be able to handle red meat and a good quality steak quite well, where as chicken on the other hand just repeats on me and gets stuck. Not a good look!!! Scrambled eggs is a no no for me, which really surprised me. I have nothing but trouble with them and end up burping eggs up for the next hour or so. Certainly not a pleasant after taste!! I am still sticking to allot of soups. Mainly because I think this is my comfort zone and I know that I can have these and I am fine with them. Food just seems to be a hit and miss thing at the moment. Some days I can have yogurt and other days I can't. It's just quite bizarre really. But I guess it's just a small price to pay in the long run.

I'm pretty much sticking to my three meals a day and that's it. I don't snack at all in between as I just don't have the desire too. which i guess is a great thing as I'm not snacking on junk food or stuff that I shouldn't be having. all in all, everything is going well. better than i had expected it really. I know I need to get my ass into gear and go to the gym and I do have plans on doing that next week when I am back in the office.

Twas the day after my first fill!!!

I can certainly feel restriction today. I have had some mild discomfort around my stomach. Which hopefully is just everything adjusting to the fill. It comes in spasms kind of. Not pain or anything, more of a muscle ache.

I am coping alright with liquids. I sometimes gurgle a bit with some liquids. I just have to really take it slow. The cup a soups I am handling OK. I just add a bit more water so they aren't as thick as what they are supposed to be. I haven't felt like eating much at all today, but I have been making myself eat my 3 main meals. I am feeling full very quickly, so I guess that's a good thing.

I know if I have drank or eaten too fast as I get little air pockets or bubbles and feel the need to burp. But it's not a burp, but more of a bit of a follow through from the last bite I took. I am making a real effort to make sure I slow things down a bit to stop this from happening. It's not a pleasant feeling at all.

5 weeks and 1st Fill!!!

Well today I had my first fill. I was quite nervous before I had it as I didn't exactly know what to expect or what I would have to do. I had a little bit of a wait in Dr Watson's surgery as he was running behind. Only about 20 or so minutes, so it wasn't that bad.

I got called in and the first thing i mad him do was weight me. I was dying to know how much i had lost. In the last 5 weeks I have refused to be weighed on any other scales, so this was it!! I was literally cringing in case it was a bad result. WOOO HOOO I weighed in at 120 kilo's exactly!!! YAY for me!!! So i have lost 7.7 kilo's all up so far!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO! As you can tell I was extremely pleased with that. I didn't really have any expectations in my first month as I knew I was adjusting to having the band and not many people lose much weight.

The fill procedure part was pretty easy and i don't know what I was really stressing about. He popped me onto the bed and told me to lift my head and shoulders up towards my knees, so he could feel my port. He put in a local and then he put in the fill. Not sure how much he put in. I forgot to ask!! hahahahaha He said it would be trial and error with getting the fills right. He didn't want to put too much in, but he didn't want to put not enough in either. I have got his mobile and contact details in case I do have any problems. So that's good!!

He was very pleased with the way the Op went. he said I didn't have any fat around my liver or stomach at all. he even said when he put the band around, he had to put some fluid in it as it was a bit lose around my stomach. So I guess that's a good thing to know I don't have a fatty liver or stomach!!! He was pleased with the war wounds as well. Commending himself on doing such a good job too :))

So all in all, everything is going great!! I have had some soup and that went down no problems. I have felt a little strange around my stomach area though. Must be that bit of restriction that i can feel and it's just causing a little bit of discomfort. It doesn't hurt or anything. I'll stay on fluids again for a couple of days and then slowly introduce my solids again!!!

4 Weeks post Op!!!

OMG!!! I can't believe how the time has flown. so much has happened in the past couple of weeks, I don't know where to really start!!

Easter was really hard!! Knowing that I couldn't have chocolate, but still watching everyone have chocolate and oh, the smell of that sweet chocolate was just heaven!!! I think just smelling all the chocolate the kids got, I put on a couple of kilo's!!!

I have been pretty good the last couple of weeks with food. I have been chewing properly and not having many problems at all. I have had one incident of of PB'ing, but I have put it down to chicken not agreeing with me. Well not over cooked anyways. I kind of knew what to expect as I had read it over and over again on the yahoo boards, so as soon as it was happening, I knew straight away what went wrong.

I am pretty much on solids now, but still being very cautious of everything that I am putting in my mouth. I still tend to go for soft and mushy foods as I don't think I really want to step out of my comfort zone just yet. I have been having alot of the lean cuisine and healthy choice meals as I find that they go down really well. If I am unsure, I just give it a quick blend. but so far, all is good!! I keep a good stock in the freezer for myself and make sure I have one on hand at all times. I still have problems with the drinking after a meal thing. I am really struggling with this. Hubby is always watching me and on top of it though if he can see that I am slipping. So I guess that's a good thing!!

I have my first fill next Tuesday and I am looking forwards to it. I can tell that I am ready for it as I am starting to eat more and more and not be as full as what I should be. I'll definitely fill you all in once I have had my first fill. I can't wait!!

I went back to the gym today for the first time since my Op and it was great. Such a fantastic feeling to be getting back into it. I didn't feel any soreness or pulling anywhere. but ask me again tomorrow how sore I will feel from the workout!!! hehehehehe

So everything is going great. I still haven't weighed myself. I am waiting for my first fill for that, so I will certainly be interested to know how I have gone over the past 4 weeks. Now that I am getting back into the gym, I am hoping it will just literally fall off :))

2 weeks post Op!!!

Well it's almost 2 weeks post op. Just a couple of hours off!! I have felt rather tired the last few days and a bit worse for wear than I have been feeling. I am still hurting a little. It could be because I have been picking baby up and I am feeling the twinges more. It's not painful, but more annoying than anything. i feel fine, but my body isn't co-operating!!

I have had a couple of Non Scale Victories (NSV's) this week. Firstly my rings are just slipping off my fingers. So I have to be careful not to flick my hands or they'll just fall right off!! The second one is I went and saw mum and dad today and mum said she can see that I have lost weight in my face but also my bum. She said a few weeks ago that's the first place that she'll notice is the bum. I still can't see that I have lost weight. i think it's because I look at myself in the mirror everyday and I just look the same. I am itching to jump on the scales at the doctors on the 24th though!! I have promised myself I am not going to jump on any scales until then!! I can feel that I am losing cm's. I can feel my clothes becoming looser. When I start back up with my PT I'll ask my trainer what my centimeters were before as she took them all. Will be very interesting to see!!

I had my first piece of food get 'stuck' yesterday. It wasn't as big as deal as I thought it was going to be. It was my own fault for not chewing enough though!! I had a sharp pain to the left side, but I remember what Brian said at our Perth get together and just take a deep breath, so I did, and it quickly passed. So i am making sure I really mush my food up again!! LOL it was still quite mushy what I had, but not blended as well as what i have been!!

My stomach has been rumbling heaps lately. Not because if it's hungry or what!! I get it early in the morning these loud and long rumblings. It sounds quite funny actually. But the strange thing is, I'm not overly hungry.

12 Days Post OP!!!

I have pretty much graduated from liquids to mushies, although I still prefer to go a soup if i can't be bothered mushing anything up!! I still have plenty of cup-a-soups left over in the cupboard!!

We had the Perth get together on Saturday night and I met some other wonderful bandits and their partners. It was great to heard of their experiences and success with the bands. It was a great evening, although there wasn't much on the menu for us mushie bandits. I ended up having the curry laksa soup. it was very spicy. I think I managed to eat about a cup, although it didn't even look like I had put a dent in the plate it was that huge!! I had a little bit of cheesecake for dessert. Just the middle cream cheese bit. I think I only ended up having about 3 - 4 mouthfuls and that was enough!! But apart from the food, we all had a great night!!

Yesterday was DH's dads birthday. We had lunch at the Blue Water Grill. Again, no soups on the menu, but they did have fish and mashed potato. I asked the waitress if she could blend the fish and some veggies for me. They were very accommodating and I had a meal just for me that looked like a meal that they serve everyday!! How spoilt was I?? Even though I asked for Entree size, there was no way I ate through all of it. Xander ended up finishing the fish and potato. I think he enjoyed that more than his nuggets and chips!!

Health wise I am back to my good old self. I almost have no pain now. I still feel a tad of discomfort in bed when I am rolling over, but when you are half asleep you don't really pay that much attention to it. I have been doing a bit of walking. Nothing to much at this stage, but am just really getting ready for when I am. I am hoping next week to hit the gym and ease back into my routine and then start my personal training again soon after.

All my bowels are back to normal now and I am back to being my normal regular self. I am still taking my Metamucil everyday though along with Berocca Performance for those extra vitamins and minerals.

My war wounds are healing up nicely. I don't think they will be at all that noticeable. Dr Watson did a great job and they look nothing more than a small graze. I am very impressed. I was expecting these huge big scars.

10 days post Op!!

Well i think i am pretty much back to my normal self, apart from a few twinges around the port site here and there. I find bending over it still a bit restricting, but I'll get there. I am tossing up whether I should go the the gym or not. The NOT is looking like the winner at the moment!!

Last night we took the kids into Freo to have dinner and play some games at Timezone. We went to one of the restaurants on the strip, and the first thing I asked was "what's the soup of the day". The response I got was, we don't have any soup today!! Oh OK then. So I looked over the menu and though well if I can't have soup I'll try and have something mushy and really soft and easy to chew and break down. After all, I have been mixing in mushy things with my soup and am not completely just on liquids now. So I picked the beef ravioli. I did pick the main as I knew all the kids would eat it as and of course I was right!! Xander ended up having the most, and the other two had two helpings each and I think i has left with less than half and Entree sized meal. I was being very careful making sure that I was cutting the ravioli in half and then chew, chew chewing it as much as I could into tiny little pieces and trying so hard to resist the water on the table in front of me. DH and the kids also ordered a pizza, but that took a while to come out.

So all in all, I think I did pretty well with the ravioli last night. I didn't get an major sharp pains or anything like that. I think maybe I overate a bit as I was feeling pretty full and uncomfortable. I didn't even eat all on my plate. There were 3 left over!!!

So after dinner, we went and played games in timezone for about an hour and the kids went and had gelato. I had a little bit. I was feeling very full and didn't want to burst my bubble. Xander of course had the rest and enjoyed in greatly!! We did a fair bit of walking, the most I have done since having the band put in. It felt good, apart from the shoes I was wearing!! I could of done better in that department.

I had a great nights sleep last night. I slept right through until early hours of the morning. I was imagining I'd be in chronic pain from overeating!! hahaha

8 days post Op!!

YAY!!!! I did a poo!!! hahahaha!! I did one yesterday and i did one today!! WOO HOOO!! I know that might be too much information, but I feel great now!! Yes I was a little constipated, but hopefully with taking the Metamucil it will settle down really soon.

So far everything has been a dream with the band. I haven't had any problems with anything yet. I had a little solids yesterday of some fish and I just made sure I chewed, chewed and chewed. I am still having the soups, but not clear ones anymore. I am liking the pumpkin and potato and leek soups. I can feel that I am needing the mushies now as I am getting hungry allot quicker between meals. I am really only having 3 meals a day with no snacking in between. For breakfast I am alternating between the optifast shake and porridge. For lunch I normally have a cuppa soup and for dinner it's another soup. I am having the lots a noodle soups and they are doing quite well and are filling enough. I am finding each day I am eating that little bit more, so I think by the time I am due to see Dr Watson on the 24th April, I'll be ready for my first fill.

Yesterday and today I have felt really good in myself. I managed to spend most of the day working on my business without any problems and not feeling exhausted and tired. By the end of the day though I was ready for bed. But I'm not feeling sore anymore, unless I cough hard or sneeze. I don't really 'notice' the band otherwise. I just feel like my normal self, I don't really feel any different, apart from when I am eating. I can see that my stretch marks around my stomach are not red anymore. they are white now and fading, so I guess thats a good sign that I must have started the shrinking process.

I am looking forwards to hitting the gym again. I am thinking of going next week to just do some treadmill and bike exercise. I think I'll leave the weights for a couple of more weeks, or at least until I have seen Dr Watson and got the all clear. I'm not sure whether I should invest in a set of scales, or just rely on Dr Watson's or the gyms. I want to make sure that I use the same scales for my weigh ins all the time. So that way at least I know they are reliable. I did some walking around the shops yesterday and today and it felt really good. it will be interesting to see how much weight I have lost when I see Dr Watson. I don't think I am going to weigh myself before then. Still debating that one out in my head.

I can't wait until the 'bandit' meet at Burswood on Saturday night. It's going to be great to meet other bandits and share our stories. I have so much to learn and experience still and I am really looking forwards to it!!

6 days post op and slowly getting there!!!

Today I have felt pretty good. Still a bit sore, but not as much pulling and hurting from around the port site as there was yesterday. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. I have no idea why, but I was just restless and I lay there with my eyes closed, but never went into any kind of deep sleep. I just kept opening my eyes every now and then. Probably the fact that i couldn't get comfortable might of had something to do with it as well. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep better. i am really tired at the moment, so lets hope so!!

I spent most of the morning at my mother in laws curled up on the lounge dozing in and out of consciousness!! She was taking care of Xander and then she had to go out for lunch, so she took him with her. I decided to then go home and take it easy. the house looks like a bomb hit it today. I really did not feel up to do anything. I was so drained and tired. I wish the magic vacuum fairies and mop fairies would come and clean for me!! that's all that needs to be done, oh and the washing to be folded and put away.

I am still eating / drinking clear fluids and mixing a little mushies in there. Not much, but a little. i don't seem to be having any problems with eating or drinking at all, which is great. I am loving my jellies.

I am still waiting for a bowel movement. I can feel it getting closer LOL, so hopefully tomorrow I'll have one. i have been keeping up with my Metamucil and vitamins.

Well that's about it for today. Not much to report. I'm getting boring now!! LOL

5 days post Op!!

WOO HOOO!! I got more drugs!! hahahaha I had my staples out today and everything is healing nicely. It's a little bit itchy but the Doctor said that's a good thing as it means it's healing. He was very surprised to see me doing as well as I am 5 days after the operation. I am my GP's first lapband patient. Feel honoured now I do!!

I have gone for some thicker soups today. I did really well last night with my mushy lasagna. Had no problems with that at all. mind you, it was well mushed!! I enjoyed some lovely home made pumpkin soup today. I also had some nice creamy honey porridge for breakfast. I still can't believe the small portions I am eating and it's making me full. i still have the 'eyes bigger then the belly' syndrome though. I'm not used to only having half a cup or less. I absolutely struggled to get through the porridge this morning. I only ended up eating half and it's a really small portion packet size already!! I had my first coffee today since before the Optifast stage. I wasn't craving one at all, just felt like something different from tea. I'm not a big coffee drinker anyways. I can go without it for weeks or have one or two a day for weeks and then nothing.

I bummed around for most of the day today. Still am pretty sore. I did a little bit of work in the business, but sitting at the computer is not that comfortable at the moment. I have this dreaded cough that is really driving me insane. It's from the tube the stick down your throat during the operation. they must have scraped the back of my throat, because it's all dry and scratchy and is really ticking me off!!

My bruises on my arms from the needles and drips are taking their sweet time to go away. People must think I am a drug addict!! LOL!! Wrong places I have been told. They don't look very pretty at all. And no, hubby didn't do them!! LOL

I am still waiting for my first bowel motion. The doctor said it should be too far away and I'm doing all he right things like moving around heaps, drinking lots and taking Metamucil. He said I should expect one really soon though. Anaesthetic does that to people he said, plus I'm not putting much into my system, so it doesn't have much to break down either.

I've had a few people comment about my face not looking at full as it used to. So I guess that's a good thing. I can feel my wedding and engagement rings getting looser and looser, so I know I must be losing weight!!

4 days post Op!!

I am starting to sleep better, but trying to turn over and change positions during the night still hurts like hell!! I have put it down to a fine art now though. If I want to change sides, i have so sit up first and then change to the other side. Maybe in a few more days I'll be able to do just the normal rolling over thing. My tummy is very sore and tender still. I think the sorest part is when the port site is. Although I can't be 100% sure it's there, I think that's where it is. I'm not game enough to press down hard on it just yet. Coughing is a real killer. I have this horrible tickle in my throat (probably the side affects from the anaesthetic) which is making me cough. I can't even try and stop myself from coughing. Even holding my wounds doesn't help!!

I haven't had any pain killers today, as I have run out, so it's just been normal pandaol, hence why I feel so sore today!! Maybe I'll ask the doctor this afternoon if I can get some more strong drugs!! I have to see the Doctor this afternoon as I am getting my staples out. YAY!! I can take those ugly white patches of my stomach!!

I spent most of the day on a lounge somewhere laying down. I did brave it for an hour or so to do a little bit of food shopping with mother in law. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it did take allot out of me. The walking itself felt good and didn't bother me, it was just the soreness and energy that it drained out of me.

I'm still having liquids, although I did try some blended lasagna last night as the soup just didn't seem to feel me up at dinner time. I think I had about 5 or 6 teaspoon fulls and I was full. I didn't seem to have any problems with it. I just took it nice and slowly and still chewed it, even though it was already baby mush!! I did think for a while that I may have over eaten, as I just felt full and really blah. no pain or anything coming back to haunt me, just uncomfortable feeling.

I've really noticed on how much I have slowed down on drinking. Everything is just little sips. I have heard storied where people can't drink like they used to, especially out of their water bottles at the gym. So I'm not really game enough to try more than little sips at the moment. It makes it hard when you are having your Metamucil and it tells you to drink rapidly. By the time I am finishing off the last 3 or 4 mouthfuls, it has gone really thick, so I have to add a bit more water. I still have allot to learn and allot to learn from!!

3 days post Op!!

I finally got some sleep last night. Although it still wasn't solid sleep, I managed to do more than just doze. I still couldn't get fully comfortable, but I guess I was so tired in the end I didn't really care how much it hurt, just the fact i wanted to sleep!! I'm still feeling pretty tired and warn out today. Today's the first day I've really felt my tummy hurting from all the incisions. I don't feel as full of wind today which is a great thing. I'm still getting an odd wind pain here and there, but nothing like I was getting in the first 2 days. I think I had a couple of good episodes of passing wind last night while I was sleeping!!

Last night I tried a little chicken noodle soup. not the creamy type. Just the plain chicken broth with some noodles. I only managed to have about 3 mouthfuls and I was full. I didn't seem to have any problems at all with them. I made sure I left the noodles to sit for about 10 minutes before I ate them so they were nice and soft. I didn't feel like anything much more than just broth this morning, so I just had my plain vegetable clear broth and a jelly. It's amazing how those two things are quite satisfying and fill you right up!!

I'm having no problems at all moving around. the only time I do cringe and feel it is when i am going from lying down to sitting up and trying to roll over in bed. Apart from that I don't feel anything. I think I was quite lucky as I haven't experienced hardly any pain in my shoulder. I know quite a few people have experiences the shoulder tip pain. I only got a couple of aches in the first day and they were more twinges than constant pain. The pain has been quite good, but in saying that I have made sure I have kept up with the pain killers and panadol as well. I finished off the anti nauseous tablets today, so I don't have to take them anymore. It wasn't the nicest thing to have to hold on your tongue. It was more of a wafer than a tablet that you swallowed.

Mother in law came to pick Sara up today and she commented on how much weight I have lost already. Mind you, i don't really feel as though I have lost any. My stomach is to bloated and full of wind to feel 'thin'!! LOL

2 days post Op!!

Today I feel as though I have been been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and he won!! I am feeling so sore and stiff today. I hardly got any sleep at all last night. I didn't end up actually settling down to sleep until about midnight and by then I couldn't get comfortable. I tossed and turned for the next few hours. Well I didn't really toss and turn, but more like carefully moved and changed positions. by about 2.30am I had given up and took my pillow and retreated to the lounge room to the recliner chairs. This gave me a little more comfort, but not much more. I dozed on and off until about 7am. I was flicking the foxtel channels and found a couple of good movies to doze to.

Today i have been walking and moving around as much as I can to try and get that wind moving. I have chewed on a couple of the de-gas tablets but I am still waiting for a miracle fart to arrive. I think once I have a half decent fart I will feel normal again. It's just so uncomfortable.

Food wise i have been very satisfied with my vegetable and beef broth. I don't think i could really settle for anything more right now. I had some diet jelly today which was nice on my throat. I have been a bit croaky and horse, which is probably from the tubes I had down there.

I have felt pretty tired today. My wounds are a bit sore, but not extremely painful. I have kept on top of the pain killers and panadol today. I've had the heat pack out as well which has been a nice instant relief on my tummy area. I haven't felt much nauseous today, which is good. i still have to take anti-reflux tablets and the anti nauseous tablets for the next 7 days or until I feel i don't need them anymore.

I made my appointment with my GP for Monday afternoon at 2.15pm to have my staples removed. Hopefully this won't hurt too much!! I have to ring up and make my 3 appointments with Dr Watson. I have to have one at 1 month after surgery, 2 months and then at 3 months. I should go and do that right now while I remember!!

Surviving the First Day Home!!

I've tried to go and lay down a few times now, but the wind pain is just so uncomfortable. I have chewed on a degas tablet, so hopefully that will do the trick. laying down isn't a problem at all. it's a little sore, but no where near as sore as what I thought it was going to be. I have my elbow pillow which is just a god sent. I think I might try a heat pack in a minute and see how that goes.

I had some beef broth for dinner and that went down a treat. I don't think I could of stomached any more, even if i tried. I have passed a bit of wind tonight which has been bliss, but there is still plenty more there that wants out!! I have been sipping on some apple juice and water as well. i made some diet jellies up, so they'll be ready to eat tomorrow. I also made some normal jelly up for the kids so they don't steal mine!!

I've felt a little bit of pain in my left shoulder. It hasn't been too bad. more of a dull ache than a pain. Burping helps eases some wind as well. I'm just a bit scared that something might follow through though, so i am being very careful when burping.

The kids have been great and been giving me kisses and hugs all afternoon. Sarah nearly bawled her eyes out when i showed her the bruises on my arms from where they had the drips in. She was very concerned they had hurt her mummy. I told her that I was fine and that they were just from the needles. I let her touch them and she was convinced then. The kids have seen all my war wounds on my stomach. Callum couldn't quite believe I had 6 dressings, He thought that was pretty special.

Bending over to pick things up has been a bit hard and sitting still in the same spot as well. like i said, moving around seems to be doing the trick. I'm trying not to cough as that does hurt quite a bit. not just in my tummy area, but in my throat. i have had a couple of small peppermint teas today which has been really soothing and helpful.

I think today was much better than I had expected. I don't think I overdid it, but I made sure i kept moving around. I don't really feel any different. i have tried to feel for my port but haven't been able to find it. maybe my tummy is a bit too swollen still. But I don't feel as though I have my band around my tummy. I don't what i was expecting really, but I thought I might have been able to feel some restriction. i know it's only early days yet and I'll probably experience that when I go on mushies and solid foods, but I thought I might have been able to feel something or feel different.

Well here's hoping to a good nights sleep tonight!!

I'm Now a Bandit!!!

The next thing I new I was in recover, waking up and coming around and I had a tube in my throat and the nurse was trying to get it out. It was an unpleasant feeling that's for sure. I was in a bit of pain when i cam round and she kept asking me on a scale of 1 - 10 my pain level. I remember saying about an 8 the first time and the she asked me a couple of minutes later and I said a 6, so she gave me more pain meds. Then it had come down to about a 3. I was dozing on and off and I couldn't really remember much else that was going on. I don't even remember getting wheeled back to the ward. I do remember that my mum and dad were there when I got back and it was nice to have them there. I remember mum saying they had been waiting for about an hour, but they helped themselves to coffee and cake in the parents room. I know they didn't stay for too long. I can't even remember what was said. I was so out of it and really tired a groggy.

I was dozing on and off all evening. Luke bought the kids in about 7.30pm on his way home so the kids could say goodnight to me. I remember caressing the kids on their faces as I couldn't lean over to give them a kiss. Xander was giving me strange looks as I had the oxygen mask on and a drip in my left arm. So he wasn't sure what to think. I remember the kids saying they had done their homework in the car and that they had dinner at Grandma's. I really can;t remember anything else that went on or what was said. I was still so out of it. My mouth was all dry and my throat was croaky as.

I didn't sleep much at all over the night. I had a fellow bandit that was done just after me in the next bed. I remember saying hello to her and asking her how she was feeling during the night. I had a terrible time trying to sleep. I had a few 20 - 30 minute dozes. I needed to get up and walk around as i could feel the wind building up inside. It felt really good once I was up and about. I did a few bog laps around the ward, had a chat to the night nurses that were on. I even had some jelly at 3am in the morning!! I felt quite good after eating that. It got the horrible taste out of my mouth!! I went back to bed a few times and had a few more dozes. I just couldn't get comfy. Even though I had taken my contour pillow with me, all I wanted to do was lay on my side, but I wasn't game enough to!! After about an hour of tossing and turning I decided to try and lay on my left side. It actually wasn't that bad. I had another doze and then wok up again to the nurse taking my blood pressure and oxygen levels. I asked her if i could take my drip out at 4am and she did. That helped a bit. I then did a couple of more laps around the ward and then went to the loo. Going to the toilet wasn't that bad. I had to have the tap running as I think I was too relaxed!! But I got it out in the end!! After that I made myself a Peppermint Tea. I only had a couple of sips as I really didn't feel like any more. I thought i was going to explode if I did!! So I tried again to go back to sleep. I dozed for another 45 minutes. By this time it was 6.30am and i was so tired.

At 7am I gave Luke a call. They were all still in bed. I thought they would have been up by now. Oh well!! I had another doze in the meantime while I waited for Luke and Xander to arrive after dropping the kids off. Breakfast turned up at about 8.15am. Yummy Chicken Broth, Jelly and apple juice. I think i had about 5 - 6 tablespoons of the broth and about 4 - 4 of the Jelly and I was full. I had my apple juice a little while after that. At 8.45, Luke and Xander had arrived and Xander finished off my orange Jelly. I was still feeling tired, nauseous and incoherent. Luke took Xander to the play room and i asked the nurse when i could go home. She phoned Dr Watson and asked as he wouldn't be on the ward until after 1.00pm. he said it was fine for me to go. WOO HOO!!! I was out of there. I had to have a couple of my tummy dressings replaced as a couple had oozed a little. I was actually surprised that I wasn't as sore as what i thought I would be. My movement was really good and i was walking normally without any soreness at all. The nurse came back after doing my dressing with all my medications and the most important thing, pain killers!! So I gathered all my stuff and said good bye to my fellow bandit in the other bed. I gave her my copy of 'The Rules of the Road" She appreciated this. I wrote my phone numbers and email on it so we could get together and chat about our experience and how we were both going.

So now here I am, at home, still feeling sore and sorry for myself. I am feeling a little wishy washy in my stomach and my mouth is dry as. It hurts to take in really deep breaths. I am also itchy all over, which i think is from the Tramadol (pain meds). I have 6 dressings on me. I have tried to feel around for my port, but am not game enough to press hard, so I haven't found it yet. I have some beef broth for dinner and I'll have some apple juice. Sounds oh soo exciting!!!
So lets hope I get a good nights sleep tonight!!!

i want to thank everyone for their well wishes in emails, sms's and Erika who is reading my blog!! It's so great to have support and encouragement from other people. My family has been wonderful and so have all those other people that I haven't even met!! So thank you to you all!!

Just before Banding!!

Well I have finally crossed over to the other side!! WOO HOO!! I am feeling very sore and sorry for myself.

Yesterday we dropped the kids off to school, and as usual we were all running around like headless chooks. The kids made it to school just as the siren was going. As soon as they were dropped off, i had to go and drop some bits and pieces off for a Bridal Expo I was showing at. Even though I wouldn't be there, someone was saying my speech on my behalf and I still had my folio there. After that, we dropped Xander off at Grandma's. We stayed there for about an hour and then we started heading off to the hospital. I had to make a quick stop to the newsagent to stock up on some magazines and to the chemist for some degas.

We arrived at the hospital at about 10.50 and trying to find parking was a nightmare. There were cars everywhere so we had to be on the lookout for cars leaving. It didn't take us too long to get a spot though. I checked into the main desk at exactly 11.00am. i had to wait about 10 minutes until I saw the admissions clerk. I saw her, she asked a few routine questions and before I knew it I was on my way up to my ward. We had to wait about 15 minutes in the lounge area, but then the nurse came and took me to St Gabrielle's ward (the kids ward, but no kids were there!! LOL).

By now it was 11.30 and Herbie Fully Loaded had just started on the movie channel, so we sat there and watched that. Luke and I also flicked through some magazines. At 12.00pm I had a heparin injection in my tummy and I got to put on the sexy dark blue gown and my sexy stockings. At 1.10pm I was given a pre-med, some panadol, and anti-reflux tablet and an anti nauseous tablet with the smallest amount of water to go with them. I was starting to get nervous and really anxious, but it didn't take long for the pre-med to kick in. it settled my nerves a little, but I was still shaking a little bit.

Luke left at 2.50 to go and pick the kids up from school and just as he was walking out the door they were here to wheel me down to theatre!! GULP!! The trip on the gurney is always a long one to theatre. You still have all the questions going through your head and even the occasional thought of not making it through was passing by!! I had to wait in the waiting area for about 20 minutes to half an hour. Dr Watson came a saw me and wished me luck and told me not long to go now and asked me if I had any questions, which of course I didn't have any to ask. So it was a pretty quick visit. But he really did reassure me, which was great!!

About 10 minutes after Dr Watson had been, they were back for me. It was quite a long way to the theatre. I was being operated in theatre 6. I tell you though, the operating theatre looks nothing like you see them on TV. They are much smaller and don't look all that green like you see them. They pulled my bed up next to the operating table and I had to shuffle myself onto that and lie down. I had both the arms rests out which I had to place my arms on. They put the sticky pads on my chest and the finger thing on me to do my oxygen levels. Then Dr Lumsden (the anaesthetist) came and said hello to me and told me he would be placing a needle in my left hand and that I would be feeling sleepy within 30 seconds. I had the oxygen mask placed over my mouth and I swear it was going to suffocate me. I could feel Dr Lumsden giving me the injection and I remember fighting it and then before I knew it I was out like a light!!

Today's the Day!!!

Well here I am, drinking the my last Optifast shake for while. I didn't have the best of sleeps last night. I kept waking up, thinking it was already morning and ready to go. I didn't have any bad dreams last night, so i guess that's a good thing. Mum hasn't phoned me yet to tell me she dreamt of her dad last night. Every time she dreams of her dad and speaks to him, someone in the family passes away. So finger crossed!!!

I did my first pre-op shower last night and I am just about to go and have my second one. got to love that chlorhexidine wash!! I can't use any moisturiser or creams, which is a bummer because my skin has dried up using it and it's a bit flaky on my face. Oh Well!! I ended up doing my eyebrows last night while sitting in bed watching Crossing Jordan. yes I had a late one. Can't you telly I'm a little anxious and nervy??

So the plan for this morning is to pack my bag, ready for hospital (YES I haven't done that yet!!), take the kids to school, stop in and see someone regarding a bridal dinner I am supposed to be exhibiting at tonight (I have to drop my folio and stuff off to them), drop Xander off at Grandma's and then it should be 11am, which is time to be at the hospital for admission.

So here I am, patiently waiting, feeling very nervous, anxious and still thinking "What am i doing?". I am sure everything will be alright!! My next blog entry will be the start of my new life, so now I am closing the chapter of this part of my life.

Twas the night before banding!!!

'Twas the night before Banding, when all through my gut not a morsel was stirring, not even a nut. The suitcase was packed by the back door with care, in hopes that a new me would soon return there. I lay nestled, snug in my bed while visions of calories danced in my head; And me in my plus size pyjamas and wrap, had just settled in for a long restless nap. When deep in my mind there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my dreams to see what was the matter. Away to my fridge I flew like a flash, ripped open the door and drooled at the stash. The moonlight reflecting off the beautiful snacks gave a lustre of radiance to all on the racks. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but an array of the comfort foods I hold so dear. With a familiar feeling of all those I'd pick,I thought in a moment I just might be sick. More lovely than angels their voices they came, and they whistled and shouted and called me by name; "Now pizza, now french fries, now chocolate galore on cheesecake, on ice cream, on donuts and more!" From the tip of my tongue, to the bottom of my toe, I will miss you all more than ever you'll know. As an addict that shakes and stirs as he sits,I'll mourn the loss of my delectable hits. So back to my bed I went with great haste, and settled back down with nary a taste. And then in an instant, in pre-op I sat, nervously waiting to no longer be fat. As I sat deep in thought and adjusted my gown,in came my surgeon in one single bound.He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his feetand he seemed very calm as he eyed me like meat. He looked at my chart, with his scope gave a listen; I don't think he noticed my eyes start to glisten.

2 Sleeps to GO!!!

I don't know if it's Optifast or if it's the nerves starting to set in, but I have felt so sick and nauseous since yesterday afternoon. My stomach is just churning and the thought of another Optifast meal isn't helping. It took me ages to get to sleep last night as every time I went to lay down I felt like I was going to throw up. I never did, but just that feeling was enough!! I stopped having the bars today and went back onto the shakes. Just the though of stomaching another one of those bars is just making my mouth fill of saliva. Oh, and the running to the toilet. I was just full of wind last night and all i wanted to do was to sit on the toilet and try and have a good poo, but all that came out was wind. Not the nicest of smells either. But today, I have had more than one or two good poos. hopefully that's some kilo's being flushed away!!

I have this horrible metallic taste in my mouth today and just feel like crap in general. Maybe it doesn't help that I have just been told that DH is flying out to Adelaide on Sunday night (3 days after surgery) for a week. Just what I needed, to deal with 3 kids and recover after surgery. Everything that the doctor has just told me flew out the window about not picking baby up for at least 2 weeks and not driving for a week. And that I am supposed to rest for a week after surgery. On top of all that I am 'trying' to finish up with business tomorrow and some people are just taking their time with getting guest lists back to me!! I have given them at least 2 - 3 weeks notice and still here I am waiting for them!! And the worse thing is, I can't even have a good chocolate or ice cream pig out to make myself feel better!!

I have been so grumpy and feral today. It's not been a good day!! The kids have been jumping off the walls all afternoon. poor little Xander ran straight into the fridge door when it was open and now has a lovely big egg on his head. The a bit later on, his sister thought it was a great idea to chase him and push him over, so he went face first into the floor and blood was just everywhere!! The poor little man had put a huge gash on the inside of his mouth on his gums, plus the skin had come away from his top two teeth. I had blood all over me, he had blood all over him and the floor had blood all over it.

I don't know if it's the lack of food but my head has been pounding all day!! I have had such a short fuse and as I have said I am just a grumpy cow right now!!

4 and 3 sleeps to Go!!!

It's certainly creeping up now. not long to go and the waiting is driving me crazy, especially since I don't have to be at the hospital until 11am with a mid afternoon surgery!! Why can't I just be first on the list??

I am starting to despise the Optifast bars now. I am so over the taste and the texture of them. I just want some real food!! It's so mean when the family are having party pies and sausage rolls for dinner and that's all I can smell through the house. And the worst part is when I have to break little Xander's food ups. Oh how I miss real solid food right now!! But I am staying strong and haven't given in to temptation. No matter how good it smells, losing weight is more satisfying and important!!

Hubby has been reading all the literature from the doctor and various other sites I have downloaded and printed stuff from. He's been fantastic and telling me off if I am not chewing enough or taking too big a bites. he's even told me off for drinking with my meals!! That's such a hard one to over come!! I keep telling him to leave me alone and let me enjoy it while I can. But he's right, I should be breaking my old habits now!!

We did the grocery shopping on Saturday and I have been stocking up on things I will need for after the surgery. I bought quite a few packets of cup a soups. the 99% and 98% fat free ones of course. I bought more peppermint tea and some other different flavoured teas. I got some new toiletries for the hospital and some other bits and pieces I thought might come in handy.

6 and 5 sleeps to Go!!

Well yesterday was a busy day. I had my pre-admission appointment at 9am at the hospital, so i decided I would go earlier and have my blood tests done as well. 9 vials of blood later and 1 on ice, I think I had no blood left in my system. My veins were playing hide and seek and didn't really want to participate, but with a little encouragement and help from the nurse, we managed to find a good one that supplied her with lots of blood!! As soon as I was done there, I took the back corridors through the hospital (yes I do know my way around the hospital very well) and took myself to the main entrance for my pre-admission. I went straight in. It was just more routine questions they ask you like if you smoke, have any medical problems etc etc. i got measures up for some sexy stockings and she weighed me. I was keen to be weighed as I wanted to see how well the Optifast was doing. I had lost 3.7 kilo's since last Tuesday!!! WOO HOOO!!! I was really happy with that!! I hope they weigh me again before I have my band done so i can get all the figures and add them all in so i can keep a good record of everything.

I had finished up with the nurse and I had to go back to the other side of the hospital to hand my consent form in to Dr Watson. So it's all happening now. Everything has been paid for so all I have to do now is turn up on the day!!

Last night we had dinner out as it was hubby's little brothers 21st birthday. I think I did pretty well and was very pleased with myself. I didn't have any garlic bread of bruchetta's. Instead I ordered a bowl of minestrone soup and a scotch fillet steak and salad and I even told them no fries. So that's my last 'eating out' meal before the big day. It's Optifast all the way no until Wednesday morning.

I decided to buy the Optifast bars on Thursday and give them a go and I have to say that I much prefer the bars to the shakes now. I actually find them more satisfying and keep the hunger pains away for longer, so I'm not rummaging through the cupboards trying to be naughty!! I haven't tried the soups in the Optifast range. only in the Tony Ferguson. I think after the op I will do 2 TF or Optifast meals a day when I am back on solids and then do my main meal as something a bit nicer.

Tonight we have my brother in laws 21st birthday do at their house. It will just be water for me and salad. I'll make sure I take an Optifast bar for dinner. I only have 4 more sleeps until the big day now!!

7 Sleeps to Go!!

Eeeeeeek!!! I got all the paperwork and the formalities for the surgery today. I don't think it had really hit me until I started reading through everything. No one told me about blood tests!! I have a pathology form in with all the paperwork to have my blood taken!! And it's not for 2 or 3 things, I can count 14 different tests on there!! Eeeek is an understatement!! And I have to fast for 8 - 10 hours, so lets hope they aren't super busy.

So I've signed my consent form to have the procedure, so now I have to send it back to Dr Watson. It really puts things into perspective and gives you a real wake up call when they put things in the paper work like death and significant complications may arise. Don't even want to think about those or even go there with any of them!! Let's hope everyone is having a good day next Wednesday!!

I have my pre-admission with the hospital at 9am on Friday, so I thought I would go and do everything else then. Blood tests, hand the forms in to Dr Watson and give the hospital their admission form. Saves me trying to do it later and I am there anyways!!

It's all becoming so real now and yes, I am getting a little nervous. I really have no idea really what to expect or even how I should be feeling afterwards. i have only heard it from other peoples experiences and we all experience and go through things differently. But I guess everyone gets nervous and edgy right before a 'planned' surgery. I know I have had a few unplanned surgeries, but you don't get time to think about them or absorb any of it because before you know it. it's over and done with. But when you have a couple of weeks to prepare and stew about it, it really does play on your mind. I am sure everything will be fine though and I have every little bit of faith in my surgical team. I guess Wednesday is the best day to have an op as there minds are with the job. on Mondays and Tuesday everyone is normally recovering from the weekend and on Thursdays and Fridays everyone is planning and concentrating on the upcoming weekend!! hehehe Just a little joke I remember from way back :))

8 Sleeps to Go!!

I felt like a bit of a change today and coloured my hair a really dark / red brown. it's about 5 or 6 shades darken than I already was. I thought that I want to 'freshen' myself up before I had my surgery. I'm going to go and get my haircut this week and get my eyebrows waxed and tinted. Nothing like out with the old and in with the new!!

Today I felt pretty good, although coming towards the end of the day I am feeling really tired and ready to crash. must be the lack of carbs in my system!! I've got so much work done today, so I can go and enjoy myself out at lunch tomorrow without having to worry about coming back to piles and pile of work. I'm not sure how recovery will affect me doing my business. Hopefully I'll be abler to sit at my computer for short periods to at least answer emails and do quotes. I'll have a little bit of work to get on with when I come home, but not much. I have given myself a little bit of breathing space. Hubby is going to take a few days off work after my surgery and then he's going to take a week off over school holidays, which will be a great help.

I don't have a set of scales at home, so I can't weigh myself to see how I've been going on the Optifast and TF. I'll just have to wait until I go to the gym or got to MIL's and use hers!! I think I have dropped a kilo or two. My pants have become a little looser than what they were. Which is a good thing I guess. Too bad that we all do the Optifast 2 weeks prior to being banded. i was sitting here today thinking about a 'last supper'. I am sure there have been a few people that have gone on a huge binge right before being banded. I don't blame them if they have!! I don't think I will be though. i have been so good and to muck it all up now would just mean I have given in to temptation!! Not me!!!

Speaking of the gym, I haven't been for nearly 2 weeks and feel so bad because I haven't. Yes I have been slack and haven't organised creche, but when I think about it, it's too late and I know how fast the creche books up. I actually miss the gym and my personal training sessions I was having. I was going so well. my ankle is starting to feel better so i think the rest has done it the world of good. So maybe it wasn't a bad thing having a couple of weeks off.

9 Sleeps to Go!!

Well there's no turning back now. I got a call from the anaesthetist's office today, confirming my surgery for the 21st March. so i am all booked in and on his schedule now. It really is happening. It's quite scary actually. I have to be at the hospital at 11am for admission and my surgery isn't until mid afternoon!! I can't believe I have to wait most of the day!! I'll be so nervous and just want it over and done with...... but they are making me wait!! So not fair!! I haven't heard from Dr Watson yet!! I thought I might have received some paperwork or something by now. oh well, he's obviously very busy and I am just impatient!!

Today had been a great day on the Optifast. I didn't feel hungry at all today. I need to remember to drink more though. I have been a bit slack with keeping up with my water requirements. Normally I am pretty good, but I forgot my water bottle today and I don't like to drink too much before going to bed otherwise I'll be up and down like a yo-yo all night to the toilet.

I had the weirdest dream last night, or should i say in the early hours of the morning. It was quite funny actually. I was dreaming that I was dropping my weight. Just little bits of me falling off. I think the dream comes about from a recent trip I took to the Chemist where I saw a Xenical display and they had 1 kilo of fat sitting on the table. I think it was made out of silicone of something. So in my dream, these bits of fat were just falling off. It really got me thinking though when I did wake up, where does the weight go? I mean one minute it's there and then you lose 2 - 3 kilo's. So where has it "gone"? I know that it gets burnt up in energy and that we excrete it, but you put all this weight on, and then when you lose it, it just like, vanishes!! It really has me intrigued actually. Especially when you compare it to a kilo of fat or a kilo of sugar or something in a physical form.

The one thing that has me worried is the skin. When I do eventually lose my weight, how much saggy skin am i going to have? I am going to do my best by keeping up at the gym and with my personal training to try and not have it happen, but it's something that I always think about. I know I am going to have that flabby tummy overhang, but I am worried about my arms and thighs. Hopefully i can tone them right up as I am losing the weight. if not a bit of lipo can fix that!! hahahaha DH has said to me when I do reach goal wight I can have a tummy tuck!! So that is my big goal and incentive to lose this weight!! Maybe I can do a bit of lipo as the same time as well?? hehehe I've been told by a few people that because I am still youngish, my skin 'should' spring back. So I hope they are right!!

I guess the best thing I am looking forwards to, apart from being a smaller me, is the shopping!! Oh how I can't wait until I can go into 'skinny' clothes shops and buy clothes and bra's and underwear!! I can't wait!! Not being able to buy something and having to try it on first. Can you see that i am jumping up and down with excitement here??

10 Sleeps to Go!!

I've been doing some research on the Internet for the last week, finding as much information as I can about the the Lapband and fellow "bandits". I cam across a great article in the yahoo message boards, called 'Rules of the Road, What you need to know about living with the band" by Robin McCoy. One thing that will be hard to adapt to will be not drinking at meal times. I'm supposed to drink my last drink 30 minutes before a meal and then nothing to drink for at least an hour after a meal. Even water!! For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed a beverage at mealtime or just prior. So this will take some getting used to. The main reason that we're not supposed to drink during our meal, is because liquids wash the food through the band which defeats the purpose.

I'm really putting into practise the smaller bites, more chewing and slower eating concept!! I must look really funny and weird to other people. I even had a giggle at dinner time today with my mother in law about the chewing thing!!

I am trying to wind my business down at the moment and finish everything off this week before the big day on Wednesday next week. I have quite a bit of work to finish off, so I'll be quite busy this week. Wednesday is pretty much a write off as we have organise a suppliers lunch. So I'll be carefully picking something very low fat off the menu. Chicken or fish and salad I think!! I'll just make lunch my main meal and have Optifast for dinner. So it will all work out.

I did quite a bit of walking around in Freo today, so I definitely did my 30 minutes of exercise. I just had my DD and DS3 with me today. DS1 was playing hockey this morning at the stadium with his uncle. I also finished the washing today which was another load the filled the washing line up.

Before I sign out tonight, I want to put in this quote that Robin McCoy says at the end of her article.

"Surgery is not the magic pill we have all been waiting for. You will not wake up thin. You must be willing to meet the band half way. You will lose weight at a different pace than your friends.

You must change your behaviour for this to work. It is a tool—and nothing more. An electric mixer is easier than mixing by hand but you still have to follow the recipe for the cake to taste good.
Right now you should be asking yourself one question—“Am I ready to go the distance?”

It can be a joyful journey with the highest of highs. Moments that are so thrilling and uplifting that you don’t think you will ever come down. It is also a frightening journey as we venture into unfamiliar territory of who we are and where we are going. You are not going down this path alone. There are many Bandsters ahead of you on this path that are ready to help you along the way and take you with them to the next level.

So I ask, “Are you ready to go the distance?”

11 Sleeps to Go!!

Today I have been practicing my slow eating and chewing. I guess when you eat, you never really think about how many times you chew and don't realise how fast you actually eat. But Dr Watson told me to start chewing as if I had the Lapband already. I should be chewing between 23 - 30 times. Boy does this really slow your eating down. Great exercise for your jaw though!! I remember my dad always telling me you should chew your food 22 times (or something like that) and now, I really have to put it in practice!! But really, have you ever sat there and counted how many times you chew your food??

The Optifast is going OK!! yeah, just OK. I went back to my old habit of skipping breakfast this morning!! I know, I know!! It's the worse thing I can do. And yes, I did tell myself off for it. My eldest son had a friend sleep over last night and I treated them for breakfast. I was so proud of myself. (This is where the missed breakfast comes into it). I got all the kids hotcakes and myself an orange juice. I had planned to have the Optifast when I got back home, but it never happened. I made it for lunch though!!

I did a good workout today!! Cleaning the house. Vacuuming and mopping all the floors. Gee it's a real workout. And hanging the washing out and bringing it in. While I was outside, hanging the washing out, I noticed we had a step all along the garden bed. So I thought to myself this would be great to do morning step up and downs. It's the perfect height. So I did a few there. I didn't last very long though as the step down was hurting my ankle. (I hurt this ankle back in January. Lets just say I had a disagreement with my bicylce, and it's still not right!!).

I am only doing the 2 meal replacements a day. No way could I survive on all 3. So I had a nice dinner of salmon and salad with lots of chewing and counting!! I have gone off all alcohol and I was so tempted by a nice red tonight, but it wasn't as tempting as a skinnier me!!!